How to Use Sex as Gateway to Enlightenment - With Kim Anami

podcast Jan 15, 2022

Welcome back to Sacred Sexuality Month on the podcast! I have another amazing guest for you this week!

What if you could have life-changing orgasms on the reg? What if you could lift coconuts with your vagina? What if you could ejaculate across the room? What if you could improve your health and life by eating come? You can!!

Meet this week’s guest, Kim Anami. She’s a holistic sex and relationship coach/expert on a mission to help you bring more juice into your life and bed. In this episode, Kim shares how more sex and better sex can not only revitalioze your intimate relationship but everything else in your life from your career to your bank balance.


In this episode, you'll learn:

✧ How to use sex as gateway to enlightenment 
✧ How to clear sexual blocks  
✧ The key to tapping into your sexual energy and power  
✧ The difference between junk food sex and gourmet sex  
✧ How to experience deeper, life-changing vaginal orgasms  
✧ Why self-pleasuring and self-massage are so important  
✧ How our sexual energy helps us manifest our desires  
✧ How to keep things juicy in a relationship instead of falling into feeling like roommates  
✧ Why you should start having a weekly 3 hour sex date   

🔮 Resources:

Explore working with me 1:1

Free 14 day Ritual Queen Trial

Connect with me on Instagram @madison.arnholt


🔮 Mentioned in the episode:


Check Out Kim Anami's Vaginal Kung Fu Course

Sign Up For Energy Ecstasy Free Masterclass

Kim's Instagram

Kim's Website


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Full Episode Transcript:

Hello and welcome to the magnetical you podcast. I'm your host Madison's or Diag, I'm a mindset energy coach here to help you feel your freaking best and manifest a life full of magic miracles and abundance. I know that whatever led you here did not happen by coincidence. So I am so excited and grateful to have you here. So let's let the magic begin.

Hello, welcome back to sacred sexuality month on the podcast. I have another amazing guest for you this week. Her name is Kim UNAMI. She is a holistic sex and relationship coach and expert on a mission to help you bring more juice into your life and into the bed. So in this episode, Kim shares all about how more sex and better sex can not only revitalize your intimate relationship, but everything else in your life from your career to your bank balance. And I can tell you that the work Kim does is absolutely incredible. So you're going to be able to get dive into a lot of it in this episode about using sex as a gateway to enlightenment clearing sexual blocks tapping into your sexual energy and power the difference between junk food, sex and gourmet sex, how to experience deeper vaginal orgasms, all the things this is an incredible, value packed episode. And again, how I know Kim's work is so amazing is because last year I took one of her programs and it absolutely changed my life and just opens me up to this transformation of experiencing and using sex and pleasure really as a gateway to expansion, a gateway to enlightenment as a gateway into your personal power so that you magnetize more, more joy, more fulfillment, more abundance into your life. And this work is truly amazing, truly life changing that so we have a whole month of this topic on the podcast. So I'm really excited for you to get into this episode with Kim. And before we do that, a couple of quick announcements. The first is that Kim's course is opening January 27. Her next course it's called vaginal kung fu it's all about harnessing the power of the vagina because when the vagina is aroused, juicy wet alive, that reflects naturally into your life. It's this inherent radiance and power that you tap into that magnetizes people opportunity abundance, more joy into your life. So if you want to check out that course I'm an affiliate for it again her other course that I took last year changed my life so I was like Kim, can I please become an affiliate of your courses. I want everyone out there to know about this and experiences so if you're interested in her program, the link will be in the show notes and feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions about that. And then the other thing is that I'm hosting a free two day masterclass January 25 and 26 called energy ecstasy. This masterclass is going to like bring back the fuckin life to your life, right this visor class is all about feeling alive again and like getting high off of your own power really anchoring in and rooting into your power again because it's that energy of getting high off your own power fingering into your own power and harnessing that natural magnetism within that creates this incredible ripple effect and magic in your life. So if you'd like to sign up for that, free masterclass, go to magnetically ecstasy, or again, the link will be in the shownotes for that as well. And without further ado, let's dive into this episode with Kim. I hope you enjoy and I will see you on the next episode. Hi, and welcome back to the magnetical you podcast. I have Kim Inami here who I don't know what you would call yourself but I would consider you a you know a sexual expert and someone who is really here to like shake up the narrative, the beliefs, the programming that we've been conditioned around sex and really open us up to our not only sexual potential, but then just really our greater potential in life because it's so connected to that sexual energy. And I got connected through Kim's work on Instagram probably about a year ago and through a very serendipitous intuitively led chain of events. I joined her course well fucked woman earlier this year and it was absolutely life changing. So incredible. And she has a new program, opening up soon called vaginal Kung Fu, which we're going to talk more about today. But anyways, she is amazing. And we're here to dive into all the juicy things. So welcome, Kim. I am so excited to have you here. Thank you. It's a pleasure to be here.

Yeah. So in your words, what would you say you do? Tell us a little bit more about who are you and what are you help people do you summed it up quite well I would say that I consider myself to be an coined the term holistic sex and relationship coach slash expert. Because when I started doing this work and I had my perspective on all things holistic and love that into everything that I do, nobody else was doing that you either had very sterile lab coats, kind of if science was a true, it must be true kind of thing. Or this juvenile. Oh, look, it is really like Cosmo kind of, you know, version of candy coated sexuality and there wasn't really a space to be sexy, talking about sex, and also to look at it from a much more deep, transcendent, enlightened, even spiritual and holistic perspective. And so that's really the crux of all that I do is, as you said, trying to with earthy, really the idea that all of us are innately sexual, all of us are capable of magnificent life changing sex, orgasms, and lifelong relationships full of orgasms, ejaculations, love intensity transcendence. And the only thing that stops us from that is all of the conditioning that we've taken on all of the misinformation about sexuality, the trauma we may have sustained on that in that area. I mean, I say the only thing that stops us, there's a lot of things that can stop people. But my work is all about removing those things, showing people the power that they truly have at their fingertips literally at their fingertips between their legs, and then how to use that in their day to day life. And so another real underlying promise there is that sexual energy is life force energy, this is the energy that creates new life. And so if we're not making babies with that energy, we can be channeling it into everything that we do. And so over the centuries and millennia, it's gotten entwined with all of these moral attributes where shame based ideas, and that's really not even, you know, it's just an overlay, whereas it's really just an energy source. And that's what I try to reconnect people with, so that they can use it and be powerhouses in their lives.

I love it. So good. So what, what led you into doing all of this? Well, from a young age, I had an awareness of my sexual energy. And then I also could see that in our culture, there was a really distorted expression of it where sex was everywhere in a media advertising pop songs, but you weren't really allowed to have it and enjoy it. And then when I began to have sexual experiences, I had some very cataclysmic cosmic, transcendent, psychedelic type experiences, that reaffirms the intuition that I had that sex was like this gateway, this portal to other dimensions of consciousness that could help you become self realized, become more of who you really are. And so then later, in my early 20s, I discovered Tantra and Taoist sexual philosophies which talked about it in that framework, right? Because in our western world, and even in many Eastern worlds, there's just so much shame and taboo and wrong, so called scientific information. I often say that if I'd gone to a typical sex therapist school, I'd be broken, unsuccessful, because they're operating from so many totally wrong paradigms. But because I, you know, I was largely guided by my own experiences, and then had that reaffirmed through these ancient teachings in India and China, I really did then start to come out of that, and emerge, looking at sex as medicine, sex as healing sex as a pathway to enlightenment and that this is really echoed in these ancient cultures. And so my whole life really, from even, you know, mid teen years was, has been this exploration of how do we change and how do we grow? How do we self actualize? How do we become the best versions of who we are? And so I've studied everything from all kinds of different alternative medicines, herbal healing, homeopathy, nutrition, exercise, transpersonal, psychology, Eastern Western philosophy, and sex to me has always been part of that toolbox of healing modalities is that I might do some kind of therapy or alternative healing, but sex is actually another pathway to healing and to say, Self Realization. And so really my whole oeuvre of work by body of work has been a combination of all of these things and putting them together where sex is really the core of that, but as you will know from having done one of my courses, Is, is that I weave in all kinds of alternative modalities. And I'm firmly committed to holistic solutions. You know, I pretty much believe that there is a natural solution for everything, we just have to find it. And we have to be willing to roll up our sleeves and do the inner work. But that runs contrary to the Western allopathic model of outsourcing your power of believing that you're really just a victim of thinking that your illness is a you know, random coincidence that happens to you, rather than we are the creators of our own reality. And therefore, we are the solvers and healers of our own body and problems. So that's really the foundation of all my work and that's why I get epic and permanent results with people is because I don't take shortcuts I don't get give BandAids, I don't give people excuses. I hold them to the fire, and insists that they do the work. And when they they get the results. Yeah, yeah, you definitely don't fuck around. And I want to ask you, what, what is it within you that like, gives you that energy of like, I don't give a fuck what the world thinks about this, like, I am here to speak my truth on this, like, what? What gives you that energy to have that power? And now that I'm saying this, like, oh, I have a feeling like you might say,

Well, I think it's something that you earn as a person, right? Like I because it takes courage to speak out. And you have, we all have an internal barometer about what's true for us. And many people I think, are very numbed out and hazed out by their own making. And so it's maybe harder for them to hear that. And I got on this path, like quite early and maybe quite roughly, you know, in terms of like being thrown into a bunch of situations and challenges where it was sort of do or die. And, and, I mean, that's the short version of that, but to really then, like, who am I loyalty, I'm loyal to myself, I'm loyal to my truth. I'm loyal to my own convictions on things. And then you it's like tests of fire, right? Like, you get thrown into the fire. And you choose to go through that or you don't. And then once you do that, then you're you're like, you build your confidence. And then you do it again, and you do it again, to the point where it becomes second nature. Like you couldn't imagine not just being truthful and standing true. And being firm in that place. It's just who you are. And it's never like, Oh, should I or shouldn't I it's like you just do. And you know, this is something we talk about in the wealth woman is that the power of that lifeforce, sexual energy is so immense that when you're really in touch with that, and you inhabit it, it becomes an turns you into an unstoppable force. And I've often say, and you will have heard me say this is that one of the hallmarks of truly coming into what I call Well, Fox territory, where you become a well Fox woman or a well stocked man, is that you don't give a shit anymore what people think of you. And the reason why it's not because you're trying not to care. It's because you are so imbued and inhabited in your own lifeforce energy, that it just comes through you with all of this momentum and power is that you're in that place now of you really don't care. You just take action, you speak your truth, you are who you are, and you're so solid in that, that you are not swayed, you are not toppled over by someone, not whatever not responding well to you, or, you know, having a different opinion to you. It's like, so be it, but this is who I am, this is where I stand. And that is one of the great gifts of you know, of using your sexual energy in a conscious way is that it really becomes this propelling force in your life. And so to clarify, when I say being, well, Fox, that doesn't mean that you're necessarily running around having tons of sex with random people, it's that you can use this sexual energy consciously in your life as a creative force. And that's what I teach in all of my programs, is instead of wasting this energy and ejecting it out of you, really unconsciously, we become more conscious about how we use it. And then I actually show people techniques to then harness and harvest that energy as a creative power. Oh,

I love that. I love what you said about it's about who you are after like going through the fire and it's like I think that's where we do that deep inner healing work is where essentially like choosing to go into these fires, these old wounds these uncomfortable situations and it's like who we become in that process of moving through the fire is that more confident, unshakable? unfuck with a bowl of truly authentic, intuitive, creative, abundant version of ourselves.

Absolutely. And that is part of the work for sure is being willing to go and excavate within ourselves and see where we're out of alignment is really what it is, right? It's like what beliefs have I taken on what experiences might have colored me or hardened me or done something that has distorted the true expression of who I am, and then once identified can then shift those and heal those in some way. So that, to me, it's always about this return to the self, right return to the true our true nature. And then even as we return to it, we evolve and become better versions of that self. Yeah,

I always tell my clients the way I kind of like see it as we're like these magnets, we're inherently magnetic to the experiences people places, things abundance, that we desire, but through our life experiences, we kind of like have these like, I don't know, we have these barnacles, like attach on to our magnet. So it's like the magnet isn't working as like, strong as it could because we have these like barnacles, these like old stuck energy programs, beliefs, traumas, like kind of like in our energy field. And so it's like when we can go into that energy and heal and transmute it and release it, it's like, then we naturally are that, that that powerful force that we are meant to be. And we already are. And it's inherent within us. So I love that. So how do we start excavating? And how do we know what needs excavating?

Well, that's a deeper level of work that I get into in my in my programs. But, you know, I talk a lot about the process of clearing blocks. And I like the metaphor you use of barnacles. Because it does interferes with our energy flow and our ability to really create freely and be in flow, if we've got so many stuck and places in us where we're blocking that kind of expression. So an example of a sexual block would be, let's say, for women, the idea of Madonna whore, right, is that women are either slots, or they're virgin. So there's really not this territory for women to exist. Maybe it's getting better, a little better these days. But historically, you know, for a long time, I would say it's even really embedded in the collective psyche, is that you've got the, you know, freely expressive usually prostitute version of a woman, she's always in the movies, right? Like, if you look at almost any movie, there's always a hooker, always, like, they just have to keep putting that archetype back in people's faces and in their psyches. And then you've got the good girl, the virgin, The Good Wife, right? The good who would never really do those things, except no one really occupies you know, generally like either of those extremes. Women want to be somewhere in that space, where they are open and can inhabit this salacious, voracious unhealthy expression of their sexuality. And so it would be identifying, okay, look, I'm a I'm an intellectual, I've gone to college, I'm a good feminist, I realize that I've definitely I'm allowed to do these things. But is there some part of you that has, and I would say there is for everybody internalize these ideas, whether it's from the culture at large, from your nuclear family, from the media, from your religion, that's embedded that in you and to try to honestly look at that and say, Well, do I judge myself? Do I judge other women, right? Is that archetype, that energy somewhere in me like am I fully able to accept myself as a voracious, expressive, powerful sexual woman? Right, and so we would look at that, and then try to work on like shifting that, you know, the first step is really making a conscious though. And so that's for even sexual abuse, sexual trauma, any kind of injury to our sexual energy that might have happened when we were young might have happened as an adult. But until we clear those things, and an example I like to use as I had a client years ago I was working with and she she could only came to do work with me. And even though she was really diligent about doing personal work and other areas, a very a type A personality, she was just coming back, it would call it you would call them sort of like a not very good coaching client, right? Because they would come back and not really have done their homework and kind of be in the same place. And I was like, what, what is going on with this person? And then, you know, the more I worked with her, I realized she'd had a history of really, really violent to violent sexual assaults in her early 20s. And then at this stage in her life, she was married, but she could only ever have sex if she was obliterating Lee drunk, fully drunk, and then I put it together is that she hasn't cleared the trauma from these assaults, right and even to become remotely sexual. She has to be completely unconscious. And that's when I you know, that was a key point time for me to realize okay, she's never going to be able to layer on any more information until she clears what the foundation Right, she has like that analogy of having the foundation of a house, if it's really weak and shaky, you might try to build something on top of it, but then the whole house will eventually collapse. And that was really what was happening with her. And so I had her do a bunch of clearing work to shift, and heal, and rewire those neural pathways that she had sustained these injuries within. And then everything changed, right, she did that for a couple of months. And then she was able to move forward in her sexuality and her relationship, she really just transformed as a person. But that was a really, you know, as I said, a key moment to recognize that unless people do that caught that real conscious self-reflection, and healing and then transformative work, they will not be able to grow and move past those things.

Yeah, I love that story for so many reasons. And especially because just putting it out there that it's possible to move beyond those traumas, it's possible to go beyond like, sex being something that you have to numb out and like I you know, was sexually abused once as a child, and you know, through your course, it's so much healing work with that, and now sharing my story and, you know, getting to help other women through sharing my experience, which has been beautiful, but I think it's so powerful to know that like, you're not a victim to that forever, you're not stuck with that trauma, that energy, that pain, that that numbness that closed off Enos like you don't have to be stuck with that forever. And like there is healing available. And I just think it's so beautiful, that you're giving people the tools and opportunities to do that, and showing them that like it is possible, and what's on the other side is just so juicy, so exciting. And like, it's like I didn't even know I had no idea what I was missing, you know, so for women who have, it's likeso I know you talk a lot about surrender. And I think it kind of really ties all back to this. Because when we've had those, those traumas, those really painful experiences, it can be really hard to open and surrender. But that open and surrender is such a key piece in like tapping into an opening to our sexual energy. So how would you recommend we read began that opening that surrender, and why is it so important?


Well, when I talk about surrender in my work, it's the notion of to have what I distinguish between junk food, sex and gourmet sex, that they're missing. And the key ingredients in that would make something gourmet sex is this notion of surrender and to open yourself up, right, so we could define junk food sacks as a type of sex, just like junk food, that might give you a quick hit a little bit of a high and then there's a plummet in energy, just like with junk foods, you might eat some sugar, get a brief, high, and then a blood sugar plummet, right? Like a lowering of energy, somebody might even pass out. And we think of that, an example of maybe junk food sex experience might be someone who's just trying to masturbate to porn to put themselves to sleep. Right? So it's a very, very basic, more physical, and there's no, no moral judgment here. I'm just using this as a way of describing are we doing something that gives us energy or takes away energy? That's usually the way that I assess things. Is it good for us? Or not good for us? Does it give us energy or deplete us? So most people after having that, like, even people will say they use masturbation or porn to help put them to sleep, right? They're stressed out, or they want to have a nap or go to bed and so they'll jerk off to porn and then pass out. So I would say that's a really low level use very much more unconscious use of sexual energy. A much more high and conscious gourmet sexy use would be that you're connecting with somebody, and you're open to them on every level, you're open physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, energetically, you're just fully open and surrendered. And that surrender is the key ingredient that elevates the sexual experience to like I said, Just busting out an orgasm to fall asleep, to something that becomes regenerative, it becomes healing, it becomes enlightening, it becomes transformative, takes you into full ecstasy, and makes you feel like you became a better person. And that is actually what I suggest is the true power of sex and that that's what we ought to be aiming for pretty much every time it's like, sure you could go out and just bang one out with yourself or bang one out in some kind of casual sex relationship. And you could be in a 20 year marriage where you're having really low-quality junk food. Take sex. Or you can be cultivating that kind of experience where you're having a deep level of intimacy and connection. And that is the kind of sex that changes your life.

Hi, thank you so much for tuning in for Sacred sexuality month on the podcast, I hope you are freaking loving it. This is something I felt so inspired to do after really diving into this journey for me in 2021. And taking a course that absolutely changed my life. So I want to take a second and tell you about one of the opportunities that I think would be so amazing for you to dive deeper into if you feel called to it. So the course that I took was one of Konami's courses, and it really just blew me away. Like it deepens my relationship with Trevor so much more, I finally was able to share my story about being sexually abused with my parents and on the podcast and help other women through that. I, our sex life is like, night and day just like so much better, I'm able to actually feel so much more pleasure because I'm able to surrender I'm able to receive, I'm able to be more in my feminine energy, not just in, in sex, but in my life and my business. And it's just such a fun, playful magnetic energy. And I mean, I could just go on and on about the ways that this course helped to me and changed my life and my relationship with Trevor. So her course coming up is opening January 27. It's called vaginal kung fu. And it's all about your vagina. Because when the vagina is juicy, what aroused and pleasured, your life reflects that. And you begin to attract amazing things without you even having to work hard. This is something I'm so excited to be bringing to you and be bringing to the podcast because it fits so perfectly into the magnetically you brand. Right? It's being so deep in into the true essence of who you are that you can't help it magnetize more magic, miracles and abundance to your life. And this really is something that I have found that really, really unlocked that is healing, sexually, and really honing in on your sexual power. So the course opens January 27. And if you sign up, you will get a bonus coaching call with me. So just reach out to me for that coaching call. Because I don't think I'll have a way of knowing if you've signed up. So reach out to me to claim your bonus call with me. And if it feels aligned for you to sign up, the links are in the show notes to watch her free video series. You can check it out, learn more. And then if it feels like it calls to you, you can sign up. And this is really just something that was a huge, huge, huge catalyst. For me Kim's work and diving into this and so much transformation that I went through last year that I wanted to bring it to you. And of course, I'm bringing all these other experts on the podcast, if you feel called to check out any of their offerings like absolutely do that as well. I just wanted to give you what I've been through and as many options as possible, so you can dive deeper into this journey if it cost you. But that is all now back to the episode.

That is the kind of sex that becomes a refueling station for a partnership where they come together, and they alchemize. And they actually energize and uplift each other. And this is where the relationship becomes a power source. And it becomes a place where they go to refuel and connect and become better versions. As I say, I come back to this theme a lot of themselves. And they nurture and nourish each other. And then they emerge out of their bedroom out of that space. And they're even, they're charged up superpower, I call them superpower couples, because this is how they've really harvested this sexual energy and they're consciously using it. So surrender is key to that because you won't get to those kinds of places, if you're in a sexual relationship with somebody and surrender is not on the table. So the most obvious example of that is, let's say casual sex, right? Like the idea of having like a casual partner just to be just to be physical, right? It's like, okay, fine, you can do that. And again, I have no judgment about that. But it's never going to take you to these much more deep transformative places. It just isn't. And same thing if you were in a long term, real or or even committed relationship, and you're not connected. Let's say there's years of unspoken issues, unresolved problems, you know, things that have never been dealt with it just get swept under the rug, then I would assert that you have a big wall between you and even if you are having sex even if you're in a committed relationship. You're not actually being open and surrendering with each other. You're existing behind these walls. Have defensiveness, right. And so that means that you're still having junk food sex because you're not really open to each other. So that that piece is really crucial in elevating and taking the sexual experience from something that's just a discharge of energy to something that can actually change and rebirth you and your life. Right, the French term for orgasm, Lattimore means the little death and rebirth. And that metaphysically is how I look at this idea of gourmet sacks is that we're truly rebirthing ourselves, our relationship and then we have that energy to use and channel out into the world to rebirth our realities. In addition to surrender and clearing, clearing blocks, what else is really important to tapping into this power of sex as as a portal for enlightenment and self actualization?

Well, yet clearing blocks is a really good one, I would say even open to the idea of prioritizing your sex and relationships. So you mentioned earlier this notion of don't know what you don't know, right? Didn't know what was possible. And so a really big piece of the work that I do is educating people about what's possible, because we live particularly now in our everyone gets a participation, trophy culture, this notion that, oh, only some people can do those things. And don't worry about it if you can't. And some examples of that, you know, I have this something I call the UNAMI guarantee, which is that everyone can you know, like there's a in more Western or traditional circles, they would say, they're there. Don't you worry about it, little girl. You know, some women can have orgasms, and some women can't, but it's still okay. You know, everything's fine. If you can't, I'd say no, everything's not fine. And that's also a lie. Meaning that every woman can I guarantee that every woman can have clitoral vaginal G Spot, cervical ejaculate, that hits the ceiling, orgasms, every woman can shoot ping pong balls with her vagina. Every man can learn how to have sex and build stamina, where he can last for hours at a time and even learn how to separate orgasm from ejaculation. Every one can I guarantee that the thing that's missing is, you know, like I said, we live in this, this culture right now of total non responsibility and blaming other people for our problems, not me. But people do that. And, you know, instead of like believing that we really are the power source, and we are the manifestos of our reality. But this notion of just writing that off, and my view is that everyone can, everyone can have these really transcendent, life changing experiences sexually. So I really try to put that out there. I have an active YouTube channel and my own orgasmic enlightenment podcast and we have a feature on the podcast called The well Fox all stars. And this is where I'll interview somebody from who's gone through one of my programs, or some where many of them and share of their evolution. So we might interview somebody who has never had an orgasm before a woman, let's say. And then within weeks and months, she goes from then having clitoral orgasms to G spot to squirting orgasms to cervical orgasms. And we talked about how she did that. Right? How did that work for her? And that's been a really amazing feature to act as a beacon for people again, to show them what is possible. And if you've been in that same position as this person who was struggling thought that they could do it thought they weren't even able to do it, because they believed some misinformation that said, Oh, they're their little girl. Don't you worry about it. Not everyone can do this. And so they gave, they even gave up on the possibility because they bought that narrative. And so people will go home that very night and have their first G Spot Orgasm ever, just because I told them they could. And they believed me and they went and tried it because otherwise they might have tried it before. didn't get any, you know, results. And then we're like, Well, I guess I'm just one of those girls who can't do that. Oh, well, but I'm told it's just fine. So, you know, this is something that I do a lot is just showing people yet look, it's possible to have lifelong passionate sex for everybody. periods can be blissful, your birth can be the biggest orgasm of your life. menopause can still see you gushing and lubricating all over the place. Men can be erect and power super Cox into their 70s and 80s. All men can learn how to go for hours at a time sexually. All of these things are possible for everyone and so I really really work at trying to reinforce that for people and then get them to devote time to that. So just like you know, anyone might devote know that in order to be successful. You know, in your life and your career, it's gonna take some time, if you want to be fit, you're gonna have to get to the gym, you're gonna have to eat a healthy diet. If you want to succeed in your career, you're going to have to do here, whatever, 10,000 hours of mastery, right? And but no one really looks at their sex and intimate life the same way, right? As though it is something that actually does require time and effort and energy and nurturance for it to transcend, and get to that same level of mastery. Yeah,

I think that's really important to bring up because as my fiance and I were, you know, starting to go on this journey, you know, I'm trying to be like, Okay, let's like, spend a little more time let's like, ease into it, let's have foreplay more, like, Let's Get me more wet before we start shoving things on the inside, right. And he was kind of like, taken aback like, we like, what was wrong with our sex life before, like, everything was fine. You know, it was like, just like, usually just like a quick experience, like, he's like, this is great, I feel great, add an orgasm moving on, like done. And so for him, he was like, What is this? What is happening? Like, what is this like, elongated experience? And like, what are we even doing here? How would you suggest couples get get aligned on on this path. And like, in the knowing that there's, it's really for, it's for both people, it's for the relationship, and there is so much more than just the like, getting it out, like kind of sex.

That's where my podcasts and my youtube channel come in, is I am constantly trying to paint that picture for people of what is out there. What's possible, and why. Why should you devote the time because early on in my sexual career, like working with people and coaching them, you know, a couple might come in to see me and, you know, she didn't want to give her partner had, let's say, and all the Cosmo techniques in the world weren't going to help that problem, right? She could have 100 Different blow job techniques, but it wouldn't matter if she actually didn't want to do it. And that's where I realized this is the most important area and the place where everyone just kind of misses, right. And so I would, you know, really spent a lot of time over the years showing people why why would you want to why is it good for the woman to actually eat a jacket? Why is it good? To have cervical orgasms? Why is it even better for the man often not to ejaculate or learn how to sublimate his orgasms? Like, why is that important? And so I spend, that's, and that's all women in my YouTube videos and my podcasts. And people often come to me and they say, you know, I binged on all of your podcasts, and they've already had radical shifts in their intimate lives. And they haven't even taken that extra step yet of doing my courses. And then they do and make it even further. But they get a lot of progress just through listening to the podcasts. And there's, there's, you know, there's active information in there, but the biggest thing that they do is just this is showing people what is possible.

Yes, speaking of possibility, how do women start opening up to the possibility of G spot and cervical orgasms if they've either never had an orgasm or only had clitoral orgasms? Well, I think the starting place is what I was saying earlier is that the deeper vaginal orgasms G Spot, cervical orgasms are really only going to happen when a woman feels safe. And she can open she feels trust both in herself of her own body, and in her partner. And if that is all happening, so that concept again of surrender, then she has a much better chance of getting to those orgasmic places, and there's some technique involved, but it's mostly this idea of opening and spending. So what I was saying earlier, if the couple has long standing issues, even if they have short standing issues, let's say the couple had an argument at breakfast, and they go to have sex in the evening, and they haven't really cleared that space. They haven't really resolved that argument. But for whatever reason, they decide to stop sex anyway. She's likely, you know, she might not be very wet. He might not be very hard. It might be over very quickly. She might be grabbing her lubricant, she doesn't have an orgasm, and people will think oh, she's got problems with wetness. Oh, she has a low libido. Oh, she doesn't, you know, doesn't know how to have orgasms. He's got erectile issues. And none of that would really be accurate because it would be sourced from the fact that they're not really in alignment coming into the sexual space and the bother bodies are just reflecting that truth. Right? The body is the great barometer of all things. And so that's really the first place is like being able to establish within herself and within Her relationship, that there is that level of openness and trust. So again, if she's in a really casual situation, or there's a ton of resentment that's built up over the years, and she's, you know, having sex, but she's not fully in it, right, then she's unlikely to get to those places. So that's a really big piece there. And then in my programs, I go more into technique and details of that, but it's really this whole, the whole journey, right, we're back to this holistic piece of clearing those blockages, looking for places we might not have healed trauma, like what can be getting in the way of that full surrender, you know, are their fears their, you know, emotional fears, fears of being hurt, like stuff where maybe the partner isn't worthy of being trusted. And so you don't trust them, right? Like, that's your, you know, your internal self is telling you, they're not trustworthy, so I don't want to open and then you demand of yourself to have these deeper orgasms, but they're really not going to be forthcoming because the space isn't right for them


feel like the big things for me that made the biggest difference in being able to go there was like before, like, I think you were talking about one of your clients, like I was, my body was numb, I wanted to go numb. In my mind. I wanted zero eye contact, I held my breath the entire time. It's just like, I didn't know and then it's like, oh, wait, like just simple things like, breathe, like, open, open your eyes, like be in the experience, be in your body, like go into this sensations, what does it feel like rather than like, being in the mind or even going totally out of the body? It's like, go into the body, breathe it, feel it and experience it. And like, I think that, you know, one of the big ways that I got, like, helped relieve so much of that numbness and height and those sensations was self pleasuring. So what do you want? What do you want everyone listening to know about self pleasuring and, and how they can use that to support themselves and expanding and these ways we've been talking about?

Yeah, well, it all comes down to know thyself, right is that the more that's that's definitely an integral piece of the work that I suggest people do is spending time with their own bodies and the numbness that you described, that is one of the best tools for it, I'd say that I'm using for women a jade Yoni egg, but doing self massage, even if it's like, you know, there's, I'd say there's a difference between Yoni massage where your intention is to healing and to de nom, and to really wake up the vagina, versus I'm trying to get to an orgasm, right without pleasure. And they can be you know, there can be an overlap there. But I often help I often distinguish that for women, even as a starting place to begin with just that idea of vaginal reconnaissance, getting to know your own vagina spending time with your own vagina without the pressure, right, this added pressure of having to get to orgasm to feel like you really achieved something, it can just be spending time getting to know every little nook and cranny and folds of your vulva and your vagina. And you know, loving yourself really giving yourself that attention to try to bridge that dissociation or numbness gap, right. And so then if it feels good, you can experiment with different, you know, touches and movements that you enjoy and follow that thread of pleasure. And maybe it does lead you to orgasm, but that's okay. In this situation, I'd say that's fine if it doesn't, because you're really just there to try to reconnect with your vagina. And then the next level or concordant, with that would be using a jade Yoni egg, where the whole purpose of that too is to wake up, activate, strengthen, tone, articulate the vagina, bring sensation back into that area, that for most women truly as now most women have non vaginas. And that's because they're not encouraged to really exercise them properly, just doing a random Kegel in the air, you know, like air guitar, Qigong is not effective, you actually need to be using some kind of resistance device like a J day to for it to actually work and develop strength in the pelvic floor. vaginal muscles. So that's a huge part of my work, as you likely know, this teaching and practice of vaginal kung fu with the J day to restore that relationship and the like physical relationship and then the energetic relationship to the only

Yeah, 100% And I think there's so much you know, healing and clearing of blocks and trauma that can happen through that self pleasuring and the self massage and just the exploration like you. It's like, it's like the there could be barnacles at different parts in your vagina. At least at least that's how I see and it's like by going in and, and giving it love attention, massage, touch. It's like we go into those uncomfortable old wounds. And it really trend transmute it back into a place of pleasure rather than a place of pain and numbness and discomfort.

Yeah, exactly. We're rewiring. So you know, for many for some people, they will have had some kind of trauma or assault. For others, it might just be the internalized ideas of sexuality that they've taken in like, I believe that these things do reside in our body. Wim Hof likes to call it the issues in our tissues, right. And so it can just be concepts, ideas, beliefs that we take into ourselves. And that that practice of going in physically to reconnect really does have reverberations in all facets of our lives. Because we're now owning integrating these organs, which I look at as you know, we're talking about manifesting and creativity. These really are the movers and shakers, the uterus as the place of birthing the receptive vessel, the ovaries as this creative lifeforce energy. You know, they're these are all symbolic of a woman's creative power of our lifeforce energy. And if we're dissociated from them, we're dissociated from our creative energy. And so that's why there's this whole other layer of the power of creative channeling and manifestation that happens when people then reconnect to this part of themselves and these parts physically these organs and parts of their body of themselves. Can you talk more about how sex helps us manifest and tap into our creative power?

Well, sexual energy is creative energy, and all the things that I've talked about in terms of owning and inhabiting that part of ourselves, then we start to be able to consciously use that creative energy in our lives. And then what I often see well, all the time, see, in my work as when people become more, as I said, in alignment with this energy, they become more active in how they show up in their lives. So they might even do things like change careers, or they talk about how they start to make more money in their lives, because they're just putting out a greater degree of creative energy. And a great story I'd like to share to illustrate that is years ago, I had a woman client come to me, and I did a combination that that time of life and business and intimacy coaching and she said, you know, look, I'm single, I'm single, but I'm happy to be single, I don't, you know, don't really need any work that but I want to change my career. And she was working in this kind of, not very inspiring government bureaucratic job. And I said, Okay, well, look, I want you to what I do want you to do, you know, we talked a little bit about things she might like to do for work, but I said, Look, what's really would be helpful for you is if you go home, and you go fuck yourself, right? So every day, I want you to go home and self pleasure for the next two or three weeks, and do this breathing practice that I've shown you, and then we'll see where you're at. And so she was having all these big changes, like, you know, she was dressing differently, doing different activities, like, all these things just started to happen, because she was rubbing up her sexual energy. And then one day, she just announced to me that she was quitting her job and going to Thailand to do this yoga, yoga teacher training. And, you know, I have to laugh. Because, you know, somebody else might be, well, let's do these career assessments and do these questionnaires and try to figure out your personality type that will be most suited to particular vocation for you. And I'm like, no, just go play with your vagina every day. And it will lead you to get your answers and your truth. And it did. Right. And so this is a wonderful example of somebody tuning into that energy and loving it within themselves. And then it becomes their compass, it begins to be a truly guiding force in their lives and move them forward.

So good. Have you noticed your clients have they said anything about looking differently? Because I feel like my, my skin is like, brighter and my hair is growing? And like my fiance, like, it was so sweet. He looked at me the other day, and he's like, how is it possible? Like you're getting more beautiful, and I like keep having people be like, Wait, did you do something to your hair? Or like, what? What have you been doing to your skin? And it's like, I don't know, I guess I'm just Well, fuck. Have you had any? Any other early clients talk about that? Have you noticed that at all?

Definitely. I hear that all the time. It's that well fuck glow of somebody who's really wearing their sexual energy. And that's the fascinating thing as it becomes this tangible quality that people feel. And you know, it's like a type of charisma that radiates out from people, whether like, you know, I've had stories from women where they're, you know, they had a great self pleasuring or sex session the night before they go into town, they're literally pumping gas in their sweats, you know, like T shirt, old sweat pants, and they'll be getting hit on at the gas pump, right? Because they're just emanating some kind of radiance that's coming from them. They're Regina is really, so. So yes, I do hear that a lot. And for men as well, they get that same kind of feedback that they're now generating this force field, this energy field, which is the power of their sexual energy, but they're now inhabiting it to such a degree that it actually changes their appearance. And it also changes how people receive them and respond to them.

Yeah, which just ties back into the manifesting and creative power. Because it's like, when you have that natural radiance, and charisma and magnetism, it's like, things tend to flow a lot easier in your life. And you're more tapped into, into that it's like the door becomes open to the intuitive channel that was always there.

Exactly. I created that. Want to shift gears a little bit and diving into relationships a little bit more? So how if how do you keep the things juicy and spicy in a relationship rather than going down the pathway that so many relationships do into the like, buddy roommate vibes?

Well, I think it's really this idea of grow or die. And as I was saying earlier, prioritizing the relationship and some of the tools that I give people to do that are the idea of a weekly three hour sex date. So a couple sets aside three hours, so not for dinner, or a walk in the park or a movie, but just for sex. And so they either get a babysitter, and the kids are out of the house, or they go to a hotel for the evening. And they have that private time. Or they might do it in the middle of the afternoon. If the kids are in school, you know, they come home and have that that time together. There's many ways to do it. But that that is their time to be intimate with each other and deepen their relationship and prioritize the relationship. Because the way that I said earlier, like, if people aren't putting that looking at it as a power source, it's going to fuel everything else in their lives, then they're generally going to be neglecting it. And then if they're neglecting it, it's not feeding them and giving back to them. So if you nurture it, just like imagine that you went and bought a plant at the store, and you're excited, it's so beautiful, it's a beautiful condition, and then you get it at home, and you just put it in the corner, and you forget about it, right? You don't water it, you don't give it any light. You don't fertilize it and then you're like, why is the plant dead, except that's what happens to most people in their relationships is they can't understand why after that initial push to get the person right, and you initially put your best foot forward. And then after years, you know, some years of being together, people withdraw their attention, and they prioritize other things. And they just sort of assume that the relationship will take care of itself. But that's not the case. Right? It will wither and die just like that plant. And so the techniques that I show people are about doing that. So having these sex dates, even having, you know, connection dates, where they talk to each other, where they set aside time to have deep conversations, not just superficial, you know, who's taking out the garbage today, like chore type, you know, admin of your life and household conversations, but deeper internet conversations. So by really looking at or even, you know, I also, you know, talk to people about thinking that your relationship is really in your top three priorities of your life, right. So rather, like maybe your your relationships, number one or number two, your children are up there, your work is up there. But you know, knowing that if your relationship is doing really well, it's going to feed those other areas. And if your relationship isn't doing that, well, it's going to suck energy out of those other areas. And so people can maintain that chemistry and spark and connection simply by putting the time and effort into their relationship and it will give back to them.

I love that plant analogy so much because it's like, yeah, it's like the relationships. It's it's an it's an entity that needs to be tended to and cared for and given a time, energy and attention. So I love that. I have a couple more questions for you just two. So if you had if you could have everyone in the world here listening to this, like what would you You What would you want to say for every everyone to hear the word sexual energy is your superpower. And this is your lifeforce energy and despite the things you might have been told about it, that shame it, make it taboo make it seem like something that is either just so naughty or unimportant, it's actually the essence of who you are. And when you truly learn how to own inhabit, tap into and harvest that energy, it will be the fuel for your entire life on a creative level on a regenerative and a healing level. And even on a spiritual and transcendent level. It is everything it is really the source that is the lifeforce source. And so anything that you can do to connect with that power, and then to really use it as focus on it in your relationship to bolster and strengthen, it is absolutely worth all of your time and energy that you can put into it.

Oh my gosh, so so well said, If only I had everyone enrolled, actually less. So is there anything else that we didn't talk about? And I'm gonna have you share where everyone can find you and join vaginal Kung Fu and all the things. But before we get to that, is there anything else on your part to share anything else that's been lighting up recently, or anything else you're like, I need to talk and say this, that is coming up for you that we didn't talk about.

I think we covered a lot. And that last sentence was really a summary of that is that this power has been really obscured over the years. And I actually have a really good podcast on that called, Why is sex really censored? Where I assert that it's actually been a deliberate effort to malign distort the true power of sexual energy, because it is so powerful. And when people are in touch with that energy, they become this unstoppable force. But when people are disconnected from that energy, they become much easier to influence to brainwash to separate from their own version of the truth. And so, you know, having great sex is much more than just, Oh, it's good for your relationship, it's actually the key to who you are as a person, it's a key to who you are as a vessel of truth and your connection to the divine energy of this world. And it's all through your genitals. And this is the big lie and cover up that's taken place over the centuries and millennia is trying to mutate this notion of what sexual energy really is, and put all of these other religious shaming, moral type taboo things and obscuring things on top of that, and really blurring out the truth of it. And so that is, you know, my big message is trying to point people in that direction and that understanding so they can really take in the truth of who they are and what their sexual energy is, rather than falling prey to this common cover up and brainwashing and censorship that is, I would say quite deliberate because it serves a purpose. And you can overcome that and redefine that for yourself. And that's what my work is all about.

Because taking our like, stop outsourcing our power to everything and everyone outside of us and it's really it's taking back that power that that power source that we that we all have within us. So I love that thank you so much. This has been amazing. Where can everyone find you join vaginal Kung Fu and all your other salons and check out all the amazing the jig you have all your amazing things whatever you'd like to share?

Sure, well, I am at Kim and and I have a series of online classes that cover everything from vaginal kung fu which is my JD clip class. The coming together salon for couples sexual mastery for men how to be a well thought woman which is like Part One and Two vaginal Kung Fu and how to be well fun to women for women. I have a holistic pregnancy and orgasmic birth class. I have a shop called an AMI Alchemia which is an assortment of holistic and fully natural and organic sexual Acoust from all everything from organic body oils, massage oils for the breast for the god overall sensual oils. I have Cateura Glass Blown dildos for vaginal orgasms, I have a J day kit and Crystal elixirs for all things internet and relationships. And then my always available free offerings are my orgasmic enlightenment podcast and my YouTube channel and I put out near weekly offerings on all things sexual and intimate that you can get to know me get to know more about my philosophy and then if and when you decide You can go deeper into my programs that run throughout the year. But in the meantime, I have all of that stuff. I've got years and years worth of free content out there that it's available for people

Amazing. And when does vaginal kung fu start? That begins in early February. So and that's the next one, right? That's right. Yeah. Okay. Okay, amazing. Well, thank you so much. This has been amazing. I'm so grateful for you and for everyone listening. Thank you for being here. If you enjoyed this episode, please screenshot it tag us on Instagram. We'd love to hear from you. And I will see you on the next episode. Thank you so much for listening to the magnetically your podcast. If this episode serve, do I ask that you share it with someone who it could make a difference for or share it on social media and tag me at magnetically you? Make sure to hit subscribe so you don't miss any of the magic. And it would be in the world to me if you would leave a review on iTunes. Thank you so so much from the bottom of my heart for being here. And I will see you in the next episode.

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