6 steps to eliminate indecision

podcast May 11, 2020

For years, making decisions drove me crazy. Anything that involves choices literally stressed me, from what to eat (or if I should) to choices I have to make in my business. 

I saw that overthinking was taking over important aspects of my life. The countless decisions that needed my attention took so much of my mental energy, it was overwhelming. 

I knew it was something I had to work through so I put my focus on this in the last couple of months and I have never felt more relaxed between choices! 

In this episode, I'll be sharing the things I learned about indecision and the 6 steps to becoming a more decisive you.

In this episode, you'll learn:

✧  Let go of the belief that there is a right or wrong decision
✧ Stop telling yourself that you are indecisive
✧ Trust yourself. Stop overthinking your way to the "right" answer
✧ Stop procraster researching
✧ Have your back when you realize you didn't make the "right" decision
✧ Ask yourself better questions when making a decision


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Full Episode Transcript:

Hi, welcome back. I'm so excited for today's episode because it's something I have really struggled with for most of my life. And it wasn't until the last few months that I've really been able to work through this and completely shift and change my identity to where now I truly believe like I'm a decisive person, I can make decisions fast and making decisions really has become something that's like, so much easier and faster for me. And because of that, it's opened up so much more freedom and mental space to focus on the things I really care about. Like I used to overthink everything like I would overthink what to eat, I eat this or should I eat that I shouldn't eat that because of this and I shouldn't do that because that and should I wear this outfit? Or should I wear that one and What color should it be my nails and even big decisions in my business of like oh what should I what direction Should I go in my business? What name should I call my business like if you guys knew how long it took me to decide on this podcast name like it's ridiculous and that was before I did all of this work around becoming more decisive and I have been working really really hard on it the last couple months and have made like so much progress and I have just seen like such a shift in my energy I there's so much more space to just feel calm and feel relaxed and like I feel like I used to feel overwhelmed 24 seven because I was constantly over thinking everything overthinking every single decision from the smallest decisions in my life to the biggest ones. And it was so exhausting to the point where it's just like I cannot do this anymore. And it's it's interesting how evolved because a few years ago when I was really struggling with my relationship with food, I was constantly thinking about food all the time overthinking what I should or shouldn't eat, overthinking and analyzing what I just ate, and what should I should have done and it was so mentally exhausting. And I won't go into the whole story about that. But I completely rewired my brain to eliminate that stress and anxiety and indecision around food and get back to this place where I could trust my body. And it was funny how after that, I kind of like realize that like, oh, wow, the indecision and overthinking part of me wasn't just showing up with food it was showing up in every single area of my life, especially in my business and I was realizing that it was affecting my business too, because I it was taking me forever to make decisions or when I did make them I would beat myself up for not making the right one and it was just so exhausting. So I was like, Alright, I am going on a mission to Figure out how to become more decisive. And I really just made that my intention for a couple months like every time I had a decision to make, I would remind myself like I am becoming more decisive, I can make a quick decision. It's easy for me to make quick decisions and I am the type of person who can make decisions easily and just kept reaffirming that to myself over and over and there were six different things that I'm going to share with you guys that really made the biggest difference for me. So yeah, let's just dive into it. So the first one, the first step to eliminate indecision is to let go of the belief that there is a right decision and a wrong decision like the very belief that there's a wrong decision is the very thing keeping you from being able to make a decision because you fear making the wrong decision and if you're anything like me, and maybe you're a have that perfectionist mindset, where Everything kind of feels just like permanent and fixed. And, you know, it feels like oh, once you make the decision, like there's no going back, but like when I think about it logically now I'm like, of course, you can always make a new decision once you've gathered more new information. And there really is no such thing as a right or wrong decision. Like you're, we're all doing the best we can with what we have. And we can't expect ourselves to make the decision that our future self who has more information and experience would have made like we have to make our decisions with the experience that we have now. So that's really why there is no right or wrong decision. And even if there was like, is it helpful to believe that there is a wrong decision? Like how much harder is it to make a decision when you believe there is a wrong one? And what if there was no wrong decision? What if every decision you made was the right decision for you like what would that open up in your life and how much easier would it be to then make a decision, learn from it and move Move on. And then let that let those learnings inform you in the next decision that you make. So that's step one. Step number two is to stop. Stop telling yourself and other people that you're indecisive. This just reinforces that identity. Like I used to do this all the time. My boyfriend would be like, Where do you want to go to dinner? I'd be like, Oh, I want to go here and there, but oh, no, I don't know if I want to go there. Should we go here? Like, no, we should go there. Oh, I don't know if I want that. Oh, I don't know what I want. I'm so indecisive. I'm so indecisive. I'm so indecisive. And like, literally was just like reinforcing that identity. And my brain obviously then went looking for all the answers of why I was indecisive and our brains

love to be proven right. So when we're telling ourselves I am indecisive, our brains want to create and look for evidence to affirm that belief so that we don't have to make ourselves wrong. So that's why reinforcing the identity is really really unhappy. In terms of becoming more decisive, so instead of when you're in one of those situations where it's like, maybe you're going out to eat, and you're like, Oh, I'm so indecisive. See if you can catch yourself in that moment. And instead, tell yourself something like, I'm in the process of becoming more decisive. I allow myself to be decisive. It's easy for me to make decisions. I'm the kind of person who makes decisions quickly and easily. I allow myself to experience clarity every day. And just like, let yourself explore and like play around with that identity of someone who was decisive. Like what if, what if you are decisive? What if, what if you already what if you already are And so with that, in addition to affirming that new story of who you are and your identity, practice being decisive, it's like a like a Little muscle like when you're not used to it, your brain loves to be comfortable in indecision. So you will continue being indecisive when you start changing that story. And practicing being decisive with little decisions, you start to build up that muscle. So for me, where I really started with, this was, like small decisions when I would like go get my nails done, and I would spend 20 minutes looking at the colors like, seriously, like when I really think like, Oh my gosh, like, I've gotten so much time back in my life. Like it's just crazy how much time I spent thinking about the decisions I was going to make and not even making them and we're going to talk more about my thinking about decisions. Is it helpful in the next step? Um, but where I started was like, little things are going to get my nails done. I'd be like, okay, like Madison, you are going to make a decision fast. This is going to be easy and you're not going to look back. Let's go make your decision and Now and then I would just pick and move on and like let whatever decision I made be okay. And even with like choosing restaurants like little things like that I committed to, you know, being the type of person who knew what she wanted like telling ourselves like I don't know what I want, I'm indecisive like that just reaffirms that exact same experience, which does not help us. Okay, so then step three is to stop trying to overthink your way to the quote, right answer like no amount of thinking will give you clarity. So trust yourself, make a decision that feels right in the moment and then take action, taking action making the decision just going for it gives you the chance to gather more information that can inform your next decision and no amount of sitting around and thinking is going to give you the information I just doing it. What have I The best way to get the information you need to inform a decision is to make a decision and get that experience, get that feedback. And decisive people are not. You know, all that different from you. They're just as unsure as you are. That's human nature. But the difference is they're willing to make a decision, a decision despite that uncertainty, and they were willing to lean into that uncertainty. And whenever we make a decision now that we feel like it maybe isn't the best decision, it always leads to a better decision down the road because you are able to gather the experience, gather lessons and gather more information to inform you. Whereas making no decision at all just leads to stagnation and staying stuck. So when you do nothing and you don't make a choice, that is a choice in and of itself and it's a choice to stay stuck. right where you are. So when you're finding yourself overthinking and creating pros and cons list for six days, looking at the nail polish color you want to choose for like 30 minutes, remind yourself that hey, by not making this decision, I am making a choice. And that choice I'm making is to stay stuck. Is that really the choice I want to be making? And is there another choice that's available to me that I can trust myself to make?

Okay, So step number four is to stop procrastinating, researching. So this is a term that I learned from sound Laura Brown, she has a perfectionism project podcast, and it's really, really good and she talks a lot about how perfectionist to a lot of procaster research and I never really identified as a procrastinator because I'm this like, you know, always been like a high achiever. I'm always a doer. I'm always like, yes, give me This steps in like, I'm ready to implement it, like, let's do it always, like, going after my goals super ambitious and I never I was like, Oh, I don't procrastinate like I get things done I'm I was never the one in college to like stay up all night studying for an exam like I was the one studying like the week before. So I was like, I don't procrastinate like no. And then when she explained this idea of across the research I was like, huh, yeah, like that so me and it's like this idea that we like research and research and think and think and you know spend like, you know so much time like seeking answers outside of ourselves and stalling the decision by researching and continuing to be like okay I need to like I need to sit down and write a pros and cons list and I need to go on Google and figure out what's the best decision and you know what We think like that is going to allow us to make a better decision. But it doesn't. It's just our brains way of wanting to stay in that indecision because it's comfortable. And if you were anything like me, your brain wants to stay in that indecision because you get to stay in that overthinking mode, which means that you get to avoid one of the things that you don't want to face the emotions you don't want to face because you're too busy overthinking, and you get to avoid the growth that comes from making a decision and learning from it. And that growth can be uncomfortable. And so that's why our brains are like, ooh, maybe I'll just stay in this like indecision and overthinking because like, this is more comfortable than making an uncomfortable decision that is uncertain that I have to learn from and that I have to receive the lessons from and face. Like the fact that maybe it wasn't the best decision.

And yeah, just really like

When when we are doing this procrastinator research, we're just stalling the clarity that we're seeking like we're doing all of this research and seeking answers outside of ourselves in order to get clarity but really that's the very thing keeping us from clarity. So I would encourage you to let go of the idea that like someone else out there has the answers for you and that you need to go like find them and search for them. Like the answers are already within you. And the the, your higher self and your intuition already knows the answers that you need to make that are for your highest good and those when you trust that those answers are already on their way to you.

The clarity will come.

Okay, so then the next one. Step five is to have your back when you realize you didn't make the quote, right decision. So instead of beating yourself up, can you look at like, oh, wow, I am so glad that I made that decision because I got to learn the lesson I needed so much faster. Like say you took like a week to make a decision and then you made it and then you're like, Oh, my gosh, like now I learned this, like, why did I waste those 20 hours like had you just made the decision right away, you would have learned the lesson you needed so much faster. Or with every decision you either get the outcome you want or the lesson you need. So there's no right or wrong decision. Every decision you make is positive and is staring you in the right direction. And every decision that you have ever made was the exact decision you were meant to make. Like every we're always being guided to what's for our highest good and every like roadblock or symbol or obstacle in our life. Life is meant to be there so that we can learn and grow and be guided to the path that is for our highest good. And an example of this kind of I realized recently was that I was telling my life

coach that I was, 

you know, I spent, you know, so many

years of my business just like obsessing over learning the strategy and trying to get the strategy right and trying to make the right strategy decisions and you know, just trying to get everything right. And what I realized was that no amount of looking for the right strategy or the answer someone else had or the things that someone else worked for them like would never create the success and happiness and fulfillment in my business that I wanted. Like I had to take a step back and listen to my own intuition and trust myself and make space for those answers that are already within me. To come up and I was kind of feeling like I, I had this kind of like, feeling of like, I shouldn't have done it that way I shouldn't have obsessed over getting the strategy, right, because now I know, intuition and trusting myself creates much better results and allows me to do it by working less and with so much more ease. And so it's kind of like beating myself up for the decisions I had made and how I had done things in the past and like making decisions to invest in a bunch of coaches and online courses about business strategy. You know, it's like, I don't know if I should have spent all that money I made the decision to like buy all those courses and my life coaches like Madison, you stop beating yourself up. You were meant Those were the exact decisions you were meant to make. like think about it like now you have so much clarity and it led you to be coming back to this place. of even with even like Being able to trust your intuition more like that was exactly what you were supposed to do. And now you have so much clarity that Yes, okay, listening to what everyone else is doing isn't the answer for me like I have to turn inward and I have to trust myself and listen to my intuition. And now I have the realization and the lessons I needed in order to get to that realization. And she was saying she's like, uh, now you have the systems and strategy in your business in place. And now, you can use the freedom that's created for you right because, you know, system there is a place for having systems and having things organized and having things run on autopilot. And now that I've got there is more space to like, Listen to my intuition and operate from this different lens of being more decisive and not overthinking everything. And so, that was the exact journey I was meant to go on. Those are the exact decisions I was meant to make in order to lead me to where I am today. And, you know, my business started out as coaching women to heal their relationships with food to which was amazing, and that doesn't. And over time, I started to realize that I was meant to teach mindset and energy and manifestation and spirituality and business, all of that on a much greater scale than just healing with food. And so that's kind of where magnetically you came to life. And that doesn't mean that deciding to create the business centered around helping women achieve food freedom was wrong or the bad decision. It was the exact perfect decision that led me to where I am today that led me to this greater purpose that led me to getting to work with amazing clients and completely changed their life. Like, we're always making the right decisions, every decision you've ever made, was the right decision to lead you to where you are today and to lead you to where you're meant to be in the future. So trust that and stop beating yourself up. And then the last step is to ask yourself better questions when you are trying to make a decision. So some of the ones that really helped me and sometimes I'll just think things through in my head, and sometimes it can help more if you are really, really stuck in indecision. Sometimes it can help to journal on these questions and just see what comes up. So the first one is, if I knew what to choose, what would that be? If I knew either scenario would turn out exactly how I wanted what would I choose? What would happen if I just made a decision right now? And usually when you ask yourself that question, you're like,


well, you know, nothing bad would happen. And it almost like frees you to give yourself permission to make the decision with the information you have now into the best of your ability now, what lesson will I get the opportunity to learn by making this decision so that way you don't have to fear making the quote, wrong decision, you can get excited about making the wrong decision, because you know, you're going to get an amazing opportunity to learn something that's going to take your life, your mindset, your business, whatever it is to the next level. And then the last question I like to ask myself is what would I tell a friend to do in this situation? A lot of times when we're looking at our own life, we can be really biased by our own limiting beliefs, but for some reason, when we think about it for a friend, it's like a lot of those limiting beliefs disappear when you sometimes can have a Greater belief and other people that we love than we can have in ourselves. So it can be helpful to ask yourself, what would you tell a friend to do? So yeah, those are the six, six steps I have really, really, really, really helped me in my life in my relationship, in my business with my relationship to food, like literally every area of my life, like these steps to eliminate indecision and become a more decisive person have really

drastically improved and changed my life.

So I hope it helps you too. And I would love to hear from you. If you implement these steps and you practice them, let me know how it goes for you and let me know which ones you're going to try. And you don't have to go necessarily in order like you can. I'm all for like picking and choosing the things that feel good for you that speak to your intuition. If you want to try them all great. If there's, you know, one thing that really speaks to you, try that and trust that that's the decision you need to make So yeah, let me know. Feel free to message me on Instagram at magnetically you, I would love to hear from you guys. Yeah, what kind of decisions you've struggled with in the past and maybe if there's one, maybe this will be a little challenge for you. Like if there's one decision you've been sitting on for a while that's really weighing over you and taking up a lot of your brain space and you just can't bring yourself to make a decision. Ask yourself right now, what would happen if I just made a decision right


and see if you can give yourself permission to do that, and just lean into it and let it happen and go for it. And then

yeah, just see what happens and have your back

with whatever the outcome is. So I would love to hear what decision you were just able to make from this episode. So yeah, definitely reach out. And if this episode helped you at all, I would love if you would take a screenshot and share it and maybe send it to a friend who may need this as well. I know I wish I would have had somebody send me something like this a couple years ago. So definitely share it if you know how to do that. And the last thing I wanted to share with you guys is that I am opening up some coaching spots in my schedule to take on some new clients as I'm moving my business

less in,

in the realm of food freedom, coaching and more in this realm of personal development and mindset and spirituality and manifestation and business. I am opening up some spots for some new client to really want to take their mindset to the next level and really reprogram their mind in their thoughts and rebalance their energy and align with their intuition so that they can make the choices that are best for them that are for their highest good and manifest the freedom and success they know they're meant for. So if that sounds like you, if you are interested And doing coaching with me. I would love to chat with you, you can go to my website, magnetically you comm slash contact, and you can schedule a free call with me there. And we can just talk more about what's going on with you, what it's kind of been holding you back from your dreams, your goals, maybe what's been holding you back in your business or if you've been thinking about starting a business by here too and decisive on what you want to choose. Like, we'll kind of talk through all of those things holding you back and then how I might be able to help you move forward and really take your mindset and your life to the next level. So if you want to chat with me, feel free to do that. If not, that's cool, too. I just hope this episode was as helpful to you as these steps were for me so

I will talk to you on the next episode.

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