becoming unfuckwithable, LEADing vs waiting for permission, the power of decision/intention (personal growth update mar 2021)

podcast Apr 05, 2021

Each month, I share a behind the scenes look at my own spiritual, business and personal growth journey from the last month.

My intention with these monthly personal growth updates is to give you a deeper look into my life and business and how I'm intentionally learning, growing and upleveling to constantly create bigger and better results in my life so that you can do the same!


In this episode, you'll learn:

✧ How to join The Unfuckwithable Coach Masterclass
✧ About our journey putting our stuff in storage and traveling
✧ How I’m feeling 2 months after quitting my corporate job
✧ How to get out of “pending energy” and LEAD your life instead
✧ How I signed a VIP 1:1 client over DMs
✧ How I moved through client saying yes then changing their mind
✧ PLUS I share the books I read this month! (you can find all my book recs in my Amazon store:


🔮 Resources:



Subscribe To The Magnetically You Podcast:


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I am sooo grateful for you listening today. If this resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you’d leave a review on itunes. Everyone’s invited to the afterparty which takes place every day on instagram @madison.arnholt so come hang out with us there.


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If you’re really fired up about mindset, spiritual and personal development, click here to check out my coaching programs and courses.

Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to the Magnetically You podcast. My name is Madison Surdyke. I'm a master mindset coach and food freedom expert. You're in the right place. If you want to manifest a life It means you jump out of bed excited if every morning, reprogram your mind for success and happiness, feeling your best and become magnetic to everything you desire. For me healing my relationship with food was my gateway into mindset, spiritual and personal development. And now I am obsessed. And I realized the same thing became true for so many of the women. I've coached through my course the subtle art of food freedom, and doing the inner work around food became about so much more than food for all of us. So that's what this podcast is really about that expansion, expanding that inner work to all areas of our life so that we can become the most magnetic confident versions of ourselves and achieve our biggest dreams. If you're like me, and you're obsessed with personal development, then you are going to love this podcast. So let's freakin do this.

Hi, and welcome back to the magnetically you podcast. I am hype about today's podcast because one because I've been growing super, super, super fast. The last few months in my life, my mindset, my business, all the things and it's just really exciting and really fun. And I'm excited to share all of that with you. And another exciting now I'm hosting a free masterclass. This coming Tuesday, if you're listening to this after the fact I might have pushed, I watched the recording on us or IGP. So reach out to me if you can't find it. But if you're listening to this before April 6 come live because it could be a vibe, it's called the unfuck with a book coach, April 6, Tuesday 1pm, Arizona time 4pm Eastern Arizona weird time zones. That's why I say 4pm Eastern to anchor the time, what I'm going to be sharing with you is honestly thing that's shifted, for me the most, the last few months that have grown in the most that's had the most impact on my who I am how I show up in my business and the results I'm creating in my business, I'm going to be sharing the mindset energy behind becoming unfuck with a bull. So like what does that mean?

I'm being unfuck with a bull is basically like, and a client changes their mind and decides not to work with you like it doesn't fuck with your confidence and belief in your ability to create the results you desire. When a console goes to you, it doesn't fuck with your confidence and ability to create the results you desire. When yada yada yada yada happens, it can shake your confidence and belief in being able to create the results you desire. And this doesn't mean that you're human and you don't have emotions. It just means instead of self sabotaging and hiding, when the disappointment, reject it, exaggerate up instead of going into self sabotage and hiding and nobody wants to work with me and nothing's working. You go, Okay, I'm going to feel it. I'm a human. And I'm going to move with these emotions, they need to come with me, they can come with me, but this is what I'm creating. This is what I get to have this what I decide to get to have in this what I'm creating.

So that's the vibe of the unfuck with a book coach, and I'm gonna help you tap into that energy, but that nothing in your way of creating the clients and money you desire. And basically, if you didn't pick up on it, it's about getting out of our own way. Because in my business, I used to be in this pattern where I would shop about an offer, nobody would reach out and then I'd be like, Oh my god, nobody wants to work with me, like so embarrassing. And then I would hide and then I wouldn't show up fully and then I would continue the story of nobody wants to work with me which kept, you know, perpetuating that result. And what I've shifted into now is I don't make the things going on outside of me mean anything about my ability to create the results I desire. I don't make a motion, normal human emotions mean anything about what I get to have and what I get to create, I decide that I lead my results. I create my results and it's this energy that will seriously start having your alignments just show up to work with you. People will be massive being like, what have you been doing your energy and confidence is on fire getting so many messages like this the last few months as I've been making these shifts, and I want this for you, too.

So this is my long winded way of saying you're invited going to be a fucking it's going to be amazing. It's going to be a game in your business. It's free. I will see you there April 6, two 4pm Eastern. Okay, moving on. So in other life updates, Trevor and I are in Arizona, it's April 1, now that according this, and we're in Arizona for the next like month, and then we're going to Miami for a month. And then we're moving after that, where we put all our stuff in storage, but we could go left Dallas drove from Dallas to Arizona, which was actually a really fun adventure. And we stopped one night on the way in a town called alamogordo. And went to White Sands National Park. cool to see wouldn't recommend going out of your way to see it. But we definitely really enjoyed the drive. And it was, it was just really cool to see how like, in the past I used to dread going on, like really long road trips now be miserable. The whole car ride like, like busting out of my seatbelt, like what am I getting out of here. And like, during this whole car ride, I was just like president and chill and like, Okay, I'm, I'm here, and this is where I'm supposed to be.

And I don't need to be anywhere else. It was just like, a powerful moment for me to like recognize, like, my growth and ability to just be more present and enjoy life, where I'm at in this moment. So that was really cool. So we move-ish. to Eric. It's not technically permanent. But we're here for now. And it's so beautiful. It's so fun. I'm like, we are living our best life. It's so good on the car ride we were talking about like, I was asking Trevor, I'm like, What would your dream day look like? And he told me and I told him mine. And then the day after we got to Arizona, we like lived out the day that we talked about our dream day that we talked about, which was like, so fine. So amazing. We are like thriving. Here. It's so sunny. So beautiful. So fun. And just like, I just can't get over how perfect the timing was, if you've been listening to the podcast, you know, I've told this before, but in December, I was doing an inner voice session, which is something I'm actually getting certified in right now. Which I'm so excited to bring to my one on one coaching. It's seriously incredible. So the first session I did with my coach, my intuition told me that I was going to leave my corporate job and that we were moving in February. I was like, Yeah, okay, like, that's cool.

But like, Well, you know, we'll see, I wasn't planning on those two things happening so soon. I wanted both of those things, but I hadn't expected it to be so soon. And there was like, Okay, well, we'll see what happens. And then, in February, I quit my job. And we also found out we were moving in February, we ended up moving in March. but close enough the decision was in February. And the timing was just also perfect. Because we were moving, I sold my car, which helped me create, like a base of financial stability without needing to rely on my business. Like, I'm creating more money and clients in my business than I ever have. But with leaving my corporate job, it wasn't all of a sudden, like, Oh, now I like half to create this. It was just like the universe was like, No, you're supported and guided, because you listen to your intuition. So you're moving in, you're going to sell your car and selling your car is really going to like support you financially, and take any pressure off your business so that you can just play and have fun of your business, which obviously helped me create more in my business. So that was like really, really cool. And also just like timing with my tax refund, that'll be coming in soon. So it's just like, I don't know, it just really feels like the universe. Like just set me up in my interview.

It's not really the universe really. It's also my intuition, like, set me up for like, the perfect scenario. And it's really, it's been awesome. What else some other fun things is our wedding is in like a year. And I was telling one of my friends a few weeks ago, like, you know what I would have been trying on so many wedding dresses, I'm like, I don't like any of these. They're not me. I want a dress that is me. And I said, You know, I would really like to manifest a custom wedding dress designer who can like make me a dress that, you know, isn't an astronomical price dress because I just don't really care about spending a lot of money on that. And so I manifested a custom wedding dress designer who's in a group program with me with my coach and like, just fell into my lap, a custom wedding dress designer, she's doing my dress. She's worked with some like really, really top designers and she can do whatever I want. And I'm like fuck yeah, like, just the intention of something you desire. Just the desire, just the intention to have it is enough.

All I said was, I would really like to have a custom wedding dress designer. I'm gonna manifest that. Three weeks later, one of falls into my lap the perfect perfect, perfect setup. I'm like, so excited about that. And I also decided to invest in a wedding planner. I don't know about you guys, if you've planned weddings, but I had already had, like, I have so many like appointments and tastings and all this stuff while I'm in Arizona, because their wedding is going to be in Arizona that I'm like, Oh my gosh, like, it is so valuable to me to not have to plan everything and to just show up on the day and like, be like, Here I am, I'm just here for fun. I'm not here for coordinating planning and like doing shit. And all the energy leading up, I'm just like, wow, like investing in that was like, just such a powerful decision. It's like, I desire that. So I get to have that. And that's going to help me create more abundance. When you invest in support. It helps you create more abundance, I'm investing in support in this way. So that my energy is more free to support my clients to show up in my business to live my life and just have fun.

I'm allowing myself to be supported, I'm allowing myself to receive support. And it feels really good. And it's always like, it's just always a great feeling to know that you invested in something you desire that you know, is really, really, really good energy, because anything, anything that supports your energy, like, really just like opens up magic and abundance and support in your life. So very excited about all the things in life. It's all good. And if I'm a human, and there's, you know, times where I don't feel so good. That's cool, too. Um, okay, so I want to give you an update since leaving my corporate job, because I know when I was still in my job, and people would talk about leaving, there's I wanted, like, I wanted the updates and like, How are you feeling? What is what's the deal? Tell me. So I know. So for those of you wondering, I quit February 5. So it's been almost two months since quitting my corporate job. And the first month was like pretty like uncomfortable like, oh my god like this. I don't have this like set schedule this set every two weeks this payment comes this like, you know, what do you call it salary or whatever?

Paycheck paycheck every two weeks this paycheck comes like that certainty doesn't technically exist when you have a business. But really, certainty isn't created by circumstances certainty is created in your thoughts, right. So the first month was very uncomfortable, because I couldn't say for sure that in two weeks, I'm going to have this much money anymore. So I had to find ways to create that certainty within myself. And that was like a major up level. So the first month was quite uncomfortable. Now I'm like, fully like in it. Like we're good at this. It just keeps getting better. And it's been really fun. But I will say like, yes, it's different. And it's better. And it's amazing. And I have so much like freedom. And I'm so so grateful for all that. And like I'm still me. And it's still like there's still ups, there's still downs, they're still like day to day life that's not like that different. And I think we have this idea. Like once I get there, then everything will be different. It's like, No, you take yourself and your brain with you. But the good news is for me like I'm growing so fast my brain and who I am and who I'm becoming is changing, like so rapidly and so fast.

And therefore my life and my business is changing and growing so rapidly and so fast. So let's see. With that. I'll keep you guys posted how things are going but things in my business are going really well. twice this month, I signed my first client over DM not my first client. But my first client through DMS that makes any sense. And here's the amazing part. I didn't do anything, like different I didn't go out and start DMing people and be like, hey, do you want to be my client? Like, no, that's not my vibe. I don't do that. I literally decided first I played with possibility. I was like, Oh, I would like to sign a client over DMS. It's possible. I signed a client through my DMS it's possible it could be that easy. Ooh, I'm excited to let it be that easy. Ooh, that would be so fun. Oh my god, that would be amazing. We just send a few messages back and forth. And then they're in they say send me the payment link. And then I'm like, Yes, I can't wait to help you. And they're like a perfectly aligned client, like, ooh, I can't wait for that. That's gonna be fucking awesome. So I decided I'm like, this sounds great. I want this. And this is what I get to have. I'm creating it. And literally, I think it was like two or three days after I made that decision. Someone messages me and she's amazing.

She's a money manifestation coach. And she says, I want to join one on one. We said we messaged maybe about two or three times back and forth and she was in that easy. I woke up to her message. within five minutes. I had a new one on one client. It can be that easy. You decide how your business gets to work for you. It's seriously like, amazing what can happen when you decide what you want. So like, I want you, if you have a business, think about like, what would you like to be happen? How would you like for it to work for you? Would you like to sign a client over DM, like, start playing with that possibility, start playing with that possibility of, of, I could sign a client over DM today, I could sign a client today, I could get paid today, I could receive a payment today. Just let yourself play by yourself, get excited about it. What else another big lesson that's kind of been really something coming up the last few months that I continue, like growing and growing and growing is like getting out of pending energy and leading energy. And by pending energy.

I mean, like, once, once my tax refund comes in, then I'll allow myself to invest in this training or coach or once my client pays, then I'll allow myself to feel secure. Or Once this happens, then I'll allow myself to do this. It's like we're waiting on something outside of us to give us permission to do what we want to do. That is not how things have to be done. Like you get to lead. You get to lead and the universe and everything and everyone around you will follow when you lead with your desires when you lead with your intuition when you stop waiting on permission outside of you. So I want to share with you guys a story of me embodying this and stepping more into this because this is a lesson that has come up a few times, right? And each time the lesson comes up, I get to decide, am I going to be the person who waits for permission?

Or am I going to be the person I want to be the person who leads her life, the person who's creating what she deserves the person who's trusting her intuition, and the the version of me who knows I get to want what I want. And I get to have it right, like constantly bringing myself back and making decisions from that version of me. So I decided that I really wanted to fly first class for my friend's bachelorette party. It's in Arizona. And by then we're going to have, we're going to be in Miami. We're going to have just left Arizona and be in Miami. And then two weeks later, I'm gonna come back to Arizona. And I'm like, Ooh, that's a long flight. Like, I'm gonna be crammed up in this chair five hours of flying, like, obviously, it's fine. I could survive it. Literally just a flight. But I was like, I, I want to fly first class, like, I'm ready. I'm ready for that. I deserve it. I'm ready for that up level. And naturally, my brain tried to talk me out of it. It was like, This is classic, classic conditioning, when your brain tells you like, Oh, you don't really need that, like, oh, you'll be fine. That's dimming your desires.

And it's classic conditioning from society is that like, things are only worthy of investing in when we need it. But if we want it, we shouldn't have x we don't need it. Like, who decided? Who decided all that? Right? Like, let yourself question all of that. So my brains like, you don't really need this, this is excessive, you'd be just fine in a normalcy. Like, Trevor, who's my fiance, he's gonna think you're being so irresponsible with your money so ridiculous with your money. He's gonna not want to share money with you when you get married because you're just reckless. Then I was like my coach, Jen, she's gonna think that I've taken this, listen to your desires thing way too far. She's going to be like this, you've taken this out of context, this isn't what I meant. You've taken this desires thing too far. And this all this shrimp that's going on in your brain. I'm like, okay, Brian, thank you for trying to keep me in my comfort zone. But this is what I want this what I get to have, I can afford it. And just because I don't need it doesn't mean it's not a worthy investment.

And so I started going, I decided, like I'm getting out of this pending energy. I had been wait telling myself like, once I sign my next one on one client, then I will buy this first class flight. Pending energy. Once x happens then I will y pending energy that's pending that's waiting that's waiting for permission instead of leaving and creating your life. So I'd recognize that and I'm like, Okay, I'm going my my intuition was telling me to bring myself out of the pending energy. My inspired action was to purchase the flight. The purchase the spending the money, doesn't have to be the inspired action. It's less about go out and spend all your money and more about the knowing the knowing that you get to want what you want. And you get to have it and then making a decision from an intuitive aligned inspired place and that Maybe spending money or not spending money, that part of it doesn't matter. So hopefully that's registering. So anyways, I go to buy it. I'm, like uncomfortable the whole time. I'm like, Oh, is this a bad idea? Like, should I think more about it like, this is like a lot of money for a flight, like, I don't know. And then I got a sign that reminded me why I was doing this. And so the points that Rob was gonna get from the flight were going to be 7888.

And eight a day is my angel number sign of limitless abundance. And it just gave me this, like the mindset shift and energy shift they needed and allowed me to realize, like, Wait a second, anything that feeds my energy is a worthy investment. Anything that feels aligned to my soul is a worthy investment. I'm worthy of anything I desire. And I don't need any other reason besides just because I want to, and I've leveled up, I'm ready for this, I can afford this, I deserve this. This is who I am now. And my brain is just catching up and react, recalibrating to who I've already become. When you do this, when you lead with your desires. And stop letting your fears and doubts and emotions tell you what you're capable of your success becomes inevitable. You lead you create from a place of desire from a place of intuition, roleplays of inspired action, rather than from a place of like, Oh, I can't do it until this happened. Or I'm waiting on this person. And like, something outside of you is controlling your life or even something within you your own fears, doubts, our emotions, whatever it is, just notice what's driving your life. Is it other people? Is it your fears? Is it your emotions? Is it your doubts? Or is it your soul? Is it your intuition? Is it your desires, and when you listen to your soul intuition and desires, like, you can't help but end up where you're meant to be.

It just that's just how it works. So I'm really excited about that. It's gonna be really fun. And yeah, so it's like definitely a big lesson and really, like a big part of what I'm going to be teaching in the unfuck with a book coach masterclass, is that leading energy instead of waiting, it's, you know, like, my brain was telling me, oh, I don't need this, you shouldn't do this. Even though in my intuition, it was an inspired action, I knew it was the right decision for me, I knew I could afford it. I knew it was going to be supportive of my energy. So when my old programming, and my brain tried to tell me, Oh, you don't need this, set it out. I was like, Okay, these sentences, my brain can't fuck with me. I am unfuck with double, okay, I decided what I want, and I get what I want. And it doesn't mean you go out and buy everything, you or you buy everything you want, you just know that it's that knowing the knowing is the shift. And then then you get to make decisions made from that place, then get to be aligned and inspired. Otherwise, the decision is coming from your past, and fears and letting that dictate what's possible for you. And when you let that dictate what's possible for you.

You just keep recreating and living Groundhog Day, every day. Same shit over and over and over. So that was another big lesson on leading versus waiting versus being impending energy, which I think is something I'm just going to continue talking about more and more and more because it's like, every time I get myself out of pending energy and return deleting it, like re anchors that into this is who I am, I lead I create what I desire. So I'm excited for you to play with that energy to Oh, something else is that I had a client say yes, she wanted to join my coaching we scheduled the first session. And then she changed her mind. She went with her company provided coaches for people working there for free so she didn't have to pay for me. So obviously she decided to do that and I'm happy for that worked out fucking awesome for her right like, she gets to get a free coach and then they told her if it doesn't work out, she they will pay me pay for me pay for her to work with me if that makes sense. And so I got that email and I was kind of like oh, like I'm bombed a little bit like yeah, I'm a human like it doesn't feel good to have a client say yes and then change their mind.

And in the past this this is really again what I'm going to be diving into and the unfuck with Coach masterclass in the past, this would have got me down. Like I would have been like, upset for like weeks like oh my god, like, that was my last chance like, Whoa, that was how am I gonna find another person like, nobody wants to work with me like What did I do wrong? What did I say wrong? bla bla bla bla bla bla bla. And then from all those crazy stories, I would hide. I wouldn't show up. I wouldn't put myself out I would self sabotage or I would overcompensate with a grasp be desperate action. And then, of course, what do you create? When you're operating from all those stories and past circumstances, you just could recreate the same shit. Like I was just saying before. So here's what I do now, is I let myself be a human. And I'm like, Okay, this is a little disappointing. It's not as disappointing as it used to be. Because I have, I have created a flow of people coming to me a flow of clients coming to me and signing paying me and getting excited about it.

So I know, okay, well, there's someone else more aligned, coming right like that, there's less disappointment, but I'm still a human, I'm still like, Oh, I was excited to work with this person. And now they've changed their mind. Like, that doesn't feel good. It's allowed to not feel that great. So I let myself feel it for probably a couple hours, I was a little disappointed. And then I decided, Okay, I released this, I released this, the universe is doing me a favor, this is opening up space, for the next aligned person to come through, I can't wait for that person to come through. I'm so excited for that person to come through. I'm still looking forward to meeting that next person. And it's gonna be great, right? So it's about and then and then I keep going, I've been continuing to show up, put myself out there, let people know I'm here. You can work with me, right? instead of hiding and self sabotaging. You keep going, you keep showing up, you keep showing up. Because you know, there's someone else out there who's can't wait to work with you, who's excited and ready to go for it.

So if that's something you're going through, if you've had a client, like change their mind, and you know, it got you down for way longer than you would have liked to have let yourself feel it, let yourself feel instead of avoiding it, let it be okay, that it's a little disappointing, whatever. And then allow yourself to shift allow yourself to, to lead. If you're still disappointed, and whatever that can come with you. But you're leading you're creating, that one person who changed their mind doesn't get to decide how many clients you get to have, you get to decide how many clients you get to have and if it wasn't them, and then it's someone else, right. So hopefully, that helps you if you're kind of if you're going through any sort of rejection, whether it's with a client or, or even like dating, it's honestly like very similar to dating, like, feel it, and then be the kind of person who can move through it, move with it, instead of letting it spiral and make all these make it mean all these things about you and what you're capable of. It doesn't mean anything. So my books I read this month, I read untamed by Glennon Doyle, so good. Her book love warrior, like, like kind of like really shocked me like, it's so emotional, because she's so vulnerable.

And so raw, like, I don't know how she writes like that, but it is beautiful, amazing. And then untamed, was just as good, if not better, and just really amazing about like calling out the conditioning, and just like freeing yourself from the conditioning and rules and that, that you have to do it this way. You have to do it, though and did it and then it's just like, but that shit, I am a cheetah and I will bust out of this cage and do what I want and live my best life. That's kind of the vibe. So I highly recommend it. If you ever read it so good. Um, I don't honestly, I probably read another book, but I don't remember. And I don't really feel like going to get my candle right now. So I just want to share that one with you. And that is enough. Also, usually at the end of these, I do a tarot card reading. And I didn't pack my decks with me there in our storage. So what I'm gonna do, I'm actually going to do a fun thing on my Instagram. And I'm going to scroll through the post, and I'm going to pick a random one. And this will be our This will be our little reading for today. So Hold on, I'm scrolling. I'm going to pick the post that is going to speak to us today that we need to hear, huh?

Okay, here we go. All right. It's what if you didn't need a step by step plan? What if all you had to do was take one inspired action at a time. Trust that your next step is already on its way to you. You'll know it's your next step by the front of it, by the way makes you feel expanded and lighter. By the way it feels like the most natural thing in the world to do. You always know what you're doing. You always have and you always well. Follow each next step that feels good and everything will work out for you better than you could have imagined. Oh, I love that. I'm glad I picked that one today. So yeah, from that, like ask yourself what is the next fun thing I could do today? Like just go do the next one thing and then let the next thing, unfold, and see where that takes you, because I'm sure it will be somewhere magical. So that is all for this episode. If you know someone who you think would benefit from this episode who would vibe with it, please share it with them. Because when one of us rises, we all rise, this is a win win vibe around here. So please share it, I would be so grateful for you doing that, share it with a friend share on social media tag me at magneticallyyou, that would mean the world to me. And if you want to really make my day, I would absolutely love if you would leave a review, that really helps me spread this message and help more women.

So you can do that on iTunes or I think there's like a link in the show notes if you want to go there. Or you can just go wherever on iTunes, and leave a review that would mean so much to me. And if you want to come to the unfuck with a will masterclass again, Tuesday, April 6, at 4pm. Eastern, it's going to be really, really fun and really, really powerful for those of you who are struggling to create the money and clients you know, that your you desire and your business like it's gonna be a game changer. And I'm so I'm so excited. I'm so excited to share with you. It's gonna be great. And lastly, if you've been thinking about working with me one on one, I still have a few spots open, I would love to have you I would love to help you step into your next freaking level. And if you know and your soul and your intuition, that I'm the coach for you send me a DM, like, let's do it. If you're on the fence, if you've been thinking about it, you're like, oh, maybe I'm gonna like book a concert with Madison or reach out to her but like, I don't know, maybe I don't need this.

Maybe I shouldn't do it just like, notice how your brain is trying to talk you out of what your soul wants, what your soul desires. So if you've kind of been on the fence and you're feeling that way, and you need a little like, pep talk and hype talk or even just like to have a conversation with me to figure out if it's a good fit for you. Like, let's have the conversation there's I'm not gonna make you do anything right like we can just have a conversation see if it's a good fit. And if it is, then fuck yeah, we're gonna create some real magic together and if it's not, that's cool too. And if you're just like a hell yes, I already know I'm and we don't need to have the conversation Madison I'm just send me a DM I'll send you the links to get started. I'm so excited. I would love to have you and I will talk to you on the next episode.

I'm so grateful for your listening today. If this resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you'd hit subscribe and then leave a review on iTunes and everybody is invited to the after party, which takes place every day on Instagram at my medical youth. So come hang out with us there. And if you're really fired up about mindset, spiritual and personal development, head to to check out all the fun stuff I have going on there like my coaching, and my courses, free workshops, all the good stuff and I will see you on the next episode.

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