frustrated because you know you're meant for more but aren't there yet?

podcast Apr 04, 2021

The “not there yet” doesn’t have to suck. We can make it JUICY AF. We can make it exciting. We can look forward to getting “there” like we look forward to our fav meal or having sex. The not there yet here to be fun and exciting!! Listen to this episode to find out how to love where you are AND get excited about where you're going.


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Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to the Magnetically You podcast. My name is Madison Surdyke. I'm a master mindset coach and food freedom expert, you're in the right place. If you want to manifest a life It means you jump out of bed excited if every morning, reprogram your mind for success and happiness, feeling your best and become magnetic to everything that you desire. For me healing my relationship with food was my gateway into mindset, spiritual and personal development. And now I am obsessed. And I realized the same thing became true for so many of the women, I've coached through my course the subtle art of food freedom, and doing the inner work around food became about so much more than food for all of us. So that's what this podcast is really about that expansion, expanding that inner work to all areas of our life so that we can become the most magnetic confident versions of ourselves and achieve our biggest dreams. If you're like me, and you're obsessed with personal development, then you are going to love this podcast. So let's freakin do this.

Hello, I am really excited about this because I just got off a call with my client and wanting to come talk about this because this is something that I have struggled with. This is something that a lot of my clients struggle with. And I think this is something a lot of us struggle with. And it's this frustration between where we are and where we want to be. And, you know, for a lot of my clients, their coaches, and it's like, we have no clients. But we want a lot of clients are we have no money, but we want a lot of money. And there's all these desires and the things we want, we are here, but we want to be there. And we're like why am I not there yet? What is wrong with me? What have I done wrong? What am I not doing? Right? What am I missing? Where are the answers? Why is it not working? I've tried everything What the fuck?

I'm so frustrated, I'm so tired of it, why won't it work. And we get into this, this overwhelm this frustration, this tension between where we are and where we want to be. And we are scared that we're never going to get where we want to be. So we decided to get frustrated and disappointed and, and angry in advance, or whatever the feelings are, we just fast forward to the feelings. If I can't fast forward to the thing I want, I might as well just fast forward to the feelings of not having it. Why do our brains do this? I don't know. It doesn't make any sense, right. And so there's really two parts to this is that there's one, allowing yourself to want what you want, and then to believing that you get to have it. And so when we've gotten to the point where we have actually allowed ourselves to want what we want, and we see ourselves here and our desires there. were like, okay, I've done step one, I've allowed myself to want what I want, which is great. You've done step one, and this is not like step one, step two, this is not logical. This is just the way I'm explaining it. So that it makes sense.

It feels simple, it feels clear. So you've given yourself permission to desire, the desire, but you haven't given yourself permission to believe that it's possible for you. So then it feels shitty, you're frustrated, because you want that. But something in you tells you you can't have that and you can't get there, and you're not good enough, you're not smart enough, you're not qualified enough, or you're not doing the right things, something must be wrong with you, right. It's just this feeling that so many of us go through and I was really feeling this a couple of weeks ago. And you know, what I've something I've really been working on is allowing myself to fucking want what I want. Like we're just taught and trained that like, you don't get to want what you want. It's greedy. If you want what you want, then you're going to run out of money. Like there's all these stories we have around allowing ourselves to want what we want. So I've really gotten myself into this place where I'm like, I'm allowed to fucking well what I want.

So I'm on this, like, you know, to get to want what I want to train. And then because I've allowed myself to want what I want, it's like all these desires start flooding into my brain. I'm like, Oh my gosh, I want this. And I want that, and I want that and I want that and I want all these things. And I want I want there's so much that I want I know I'm in for so much more I have so much I'm so grateful for it. I love my life. And I know I'm in for more and I want more and I want this and I want that and so many wants it because I allowed myself to want what I want it felt like this like floodgate of wanting and then it felt like this floodgate of not having it felt like I this is how I described it to my coach. It's like it feels like I'm standing on one side of the fence. The fence is locked, and I'm right here and my desires are over there and it's locked and I can't get in.

This is what my brain was trying to tell me to believe that I couldn't have what I wanted that somehow this tension between where I was and where I wanted to be that somehow meant that the gates were locked because there's tension because there's resistance because there's doubt that means the gates are locked bullshit it's not true it's not true we we get to open the gates we get to want what we want and we get to have it and so I want you I want you to notice where you feel this in your body I want you to think of something that you want that you don't yet have maybe it's a full roster of clients maybe it's $5,000 months $10,000 months $100,000 months maybe you want this job maybe you want this soulmate I want you to think about that thing that you want that you don't yet have and feel where that tension is in your body is it in your chest is it in your stomach your leg where is that tension where do you feel it what is and what does that feel like and now I want us to redefine this tension so have there ever been like other times in your life where the tension before having something that you want was actually a good thing was actually exciting actually meant that you were going to have it because so much of the time we think that the tension between where we are and where we want to be we think that means oh okay Ihave it why we can't have it oh because i don't have it yet I can't have it like what is that so has there ever been a time in your life where there was something that you wanted that you knew you were going to have in the tension felt good so you can think of a couple of different examples like one when you're about to have sex okay you're like oh I'm gonna have sex this feels juicy this feels exciting like you're like looking forward to it and excited anticipation we'll assume that this is your experience I'm just kidding we won't but you can if this is not your experience maybe you can imagine or maybe a different example will resonate more if that one doesn't speak to you.

Maybe you know this week you're going to your favorite restaurant on Friday and you're going to order your favorite meal or your favorite place and your favorite server is going to serve you and bring you this meal that you love so much and you're gonna have your favorite drink or glass of wine or cocktail or water with you and your favorite best friend with you and you're like yes I want to go to dinner I'm not at dinner yet but I'm excited to go to dinner I'm looking forward to going to dinner am I sitting around telling myself like oh I can't have that am I sitting around feeling like the gates are locked and I'm not allowed to go have my favorite meal that I'm looking forward to no it's just the the tension between where you are and where you are going in that case is actually exciting you let it be exciting you let it feel good you've let yourself get excited about what you want you let yourself know that you get to have it and that's the difference is knowing you get to want what you want and knowing that you get to have it you get to freakin have it so I want you to I'm going to do a little experiment with you and it will help you see that you can experience having it just through your thoughts and through your feelings about it and you can let yourself have the excitement the celebration and the excited anticipation that feeling of looking forward to the tension can be a feel good thing they're not there yet can be fun they're not there yet can be the fucking juicy part and so much of our life is spent in the not there yet so why don't we make it juicy so this is just going to give you an example of like how our bodies really don't know the difference between what we imagine and and what's actually real and we can make the not there yet just as juicy as an exciting as getting there we can make the thought about getting there just as juicy as an as exciting as it feels to get there so I want you to just close your eyes and imagine yourself sitting in your favorite room of your house your apartment wherever you live and I want you to see yourself walking standing up walking into the kitchen walking over to the fridge and you open up the fridge you see the lights you feel the cold air rushing and you hear that little like sticky sound of of the rubber coming apart from the fridge.

And you just look in the fridge you're looking around and there's this big bowl of bright bright yellow lemons and you grab that bowl you pull it out you take it over to the counter and you grab a cutting board you grab a knife and you pick up one of the lemons and it's cold you feel the hard rind in your hands you just feel the lemon in your hands and you put it on the cutting board slice it open and you see the beautiful fruit inside you see the juice squirting, you feel the juices squirting on your hand, and you slice it one more time on each half, so it's sliced into four pieces. And you're just looking at how juicy it is. And you grab, you grab one of the lemon wedges, and you bring it up to your mouth and you take a big ass juicy bite of this lemon. So are you salivating? Are you salivating? Do you notice more? salivation? Is that the word? Sorry, my nose ring is like twisting around Gotta love when this happens. It always I always noticed on igt or i g live and I'm like, whatever, it's fine. Do you notice more salivation is that the word in your mouth? Isn't that fuckin awesome?

What we are capable of, we're able of creating actual physical sensations in our body as if something has already happened. And you know what that does, that creates a roadmap in your brain. To recreate that sensation, your brain thinks, Oh, we've already done this before this is, this is easy, we can do this again. So you get to do the same thing with your desires, you get to feel excited about them. Now you get to celebrate the now you get to look forward in anticipation of knowing you get to have them because you get to where you want. And you get to have what you want. So I want you to just close your eyes one more time. Just drop down into your body into your two intuition tickets, deep breath in. Deep breath out. And I want you to just imagine something that you really desire right now. Just for the next few moments, I want you to drop kick all the thoughts and stories about why you can't have it, or how long it will take or how hard it will be drop all that shit now and just let it drop, let it go away. Let it be pushed to the side. You know, you get to have it.

Give yourself permission to one to give yourself permission to believe you get to have it. Give yourself permission to know you. It's safe to get excited about it now, it's safe to feel good about it. Now it's safe to anticipated safe to look forward to it's safe to desire it. And it's safe to be grateful for where you're at now. It's safe to let now be good. And it seems to get excited about what's to come. let yourself get excited. let yourself feel that feeling of celebration now. Allow the feeling in your body to shift with this new perspective. Allow it to shift from tension, to desire to desire to excitement, let it feel juicy, let it feel exciting. Let it feel like oh my god, I'm so looking forward to this. I can't wait to have this, it's going to be so amazing. It's going to feel so good. And I Oh my God, I just feel so fucking good. Just even thinking about it. Because I'm so excited to have it. And I know I get to have it. Done, go ahead and bring your eyes Come back to the room. And I just want you to remember that your desires are always right. Like you just think about it's like, Look, if you look back on your life, you can see that like when you follow your desires, it's like your desires were right all along. And the desires you have now that have not yet come to fruition. Those are right to all of your desires, right?

My desires were always right. When I sat in the, in the queue about my first job and hated I was working 12 hours a day and had the desire to become an entrepreneur. But I had no idea how didn't even start it until two years later was miserable. But the desire the desire was always right. It was always right. It was always leading me to where I was meant to go. And the more I followed that desire, the more I created what I wanted, you can trust your desires, you can trust the you're allowed to want what you want, you can trust it, you're allowed to have it, you can trust that you can create it you can trust and know that you are that powerful, and you can get excited about it. And there's a beautiful dance between having gratitude for where you are. And knowing you're meant for more and know when you get to have that it doesn't have to be either or it gets to be both. You can have one foot planted in gratitude for your life now in one foot planted and desire. And you can hold those two opposing things at once. You can let that tension be juicy. You can let the tension be exciting.

You can let the tension be like what you live for having one foot and gratitude and one foot and desire. I actually really do that's I feel like what I will be doing my whole life is having one foot in gratitude and one foot in, what do I get to create next? What am I excited to create next? What am I excited to call into my life? Because I know that I can do it and I can't wait to see what I'm capable of. I can't wait to see how it all happens better than I ever thought it was. I can't wait to look back and be like, yeah, no shit yet again. My desires were always right. And yours are too. So we don't have to wait. If our desires are always right. We don't have to wait to enjoy them. Until we have them. We can enjoy them. Now we can get it excited about them now we can know that they're on their way to us and they're not there yet can be just as juicy just as fun so we want you to get in this energy with me of like I'm looking forward to signing my next client I'm looking forward to filling my coaching practice I'm looking forward to whatever amount of money you want to make I'm looking forward to getting promoted I'm looking forward to meeting my soulmate whatever it is that you want can you get in this energy of like ooh this is coming it's juicy I'm excited can't wait okay that's all I have for you today I gotta go because I'm actually going to be late for this appointment I want to drown wedding dresses which I'm very excited about they had I felt so inspired to share this so I was like I got it I gotta just do this now like if I'm a little bit late I forgive myself I set the intention that they forgive me too so anyways if you want to go deeper into this with me I would love to work with you I want you to know that you get to want what you want and you get to fucking have it and I want to help you create it I want to help you tap into that wisdom that knowledge that belief within yourself that allows you to actually allow yourself to create a lower self to receive it allow yourself to have it allow yourself to know that it's possible for you.

So if you know you want to work with me you can send me a DM if you want to like talk more about it ask me any questions you can book a console using the link in my bio but anyways have an amazing rest of the day and I will see you next time I'm so grateful for you listening today if this resonated with you it would mean the world to me if you'd hit subscribe and then leave a review on iTunes and everybody is invited to the after party which takes place every day on Instagram at my medical youth so come hang out with us there and if you're really fired up about mindset spiritual and personal development head to to check out all the fun stuff I have going on there like my coaching and my courses free workshops all the good stuff and I will see you on the next episode.

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