The missing link to manifestation: self-love (PLUS - how it relates to anti-racism) - with Sabi Kerr

podcast Jun 14, 2020

The relationship you have with yourself translates to how you show up in your relationships, career/business, with money, in your home, in society, etc. As Sabi would put it, "How you show up for yourself is how you show up for your life."

In this episode, Sabi explains how to use self-love as a powerful manifestation vessel. Because when you show up for yourself, the universe shows up for you. She also shares her personal experiences with racism and how we can all use self-love to integrate anti-racism into our spiritual work and journey.


In this episode, you'll learn:

✧ How I realized my own white privilege in asking Sabi to come on the podcast (and the beautiful BOUNDARY she set with me up front)
✧ The MISSING link to manifestation
✧  How to listen to your heart instead of following the path society expects of you
✧  What doing the self-love work really means
✧  Why your natural essence and state IS self-loving and how to come home to that
✧  Why you sometimes need to put your external goals to the side and focus on YOU
✧  How self-love can help us all use our voices/resources to help end white supremacy
✧ The subtleties of racism that you NEED to be aware of in order to be part of the solution


Guest Bio:

Sabi Kerr is a self-love coach and yoga teacher. She guides women to fall deeper in love with themselves and release the blocks they have to feeling worthy, so that they can create magical lives full of passion and purpose. Through 1:1 coaching, workshops, yoga, retreats and group programs, Sabi's mission is to guide as many people as possible back to their natural essence: a place of deep self-love, self-acceptance and joy. 

🔮 Resources:


🔮 Mentioned in the episode:

Sabi's Website

Sabi's Instagram

Sabi's Facebook


Subscribe To The Magnetically You Podcast:


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Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to the magnetic


reuse podcast. My name is Madison, sir Dyken. I'm a master mindset coach and you're in the right place. If you want to manifest a life It means you jump out of bed excited if every morning, reprogram your mind for success and happiness, feeling your best and become magnetic to everything you desire. For me healing my relationship with food was my gateway into mindset, spiritual and personal development. And now I am obsessed, and I realized the same thing became true for so many of the women. I've coached through my course the subtle art of good freedom and doing the inner work around food became about so much more than food for all of us. So that's what this podcast is really about that expansion, expanding that inner work to all areas of our lives so that we can become the most magnetic confident versions of ourselves and achieve our biggest dreams. If you're like me, and you're obsessed with personal development, then


you are going to


love this podcast. So let's freakin do this.


Hi, Savi Welcome to the show.


Hey, thanks so much for having me.


Yeah, I'm so excited to have you here. So to tell our listeners, I want to tell them how I found you and how we came to be doing this interview today, because I'm so grateful to have you here. So I found savvy on Instagram. Just by happenstance. I saw one of her posts and I want to read it to you guys, because it really kind of hit me and that's kind of what led me to having her on the show today. So her post said why people in the spiritual and wellness industry, you're a part of the problem, but you can also be part of the solution. Okay, I'm going to see I'm not going to read the whole topic. Because you should go read that post. It's really it's really beautifully worded on her Instagram, but the gist of it, I'm gonna, I'll just explain this, the things that you suggested that white women can do, like, here's a few things you can do if you're a white person working in the spiritual space. If you have a podcast, invite people of color on as your guests, follow more people of color and share their work. If you're a yoga studio, you know, make note of how many teachers you have that aren't white and please consider hiring accordingly. And you know, many other amazing tips that obviously the first one stood out to me because I have a podcast and I was like, immediately I'm like, Oh, my goodness. And granted, my podcast is new. But that's no excuse for not having any diversity podcast and I read that and I was like, Alright, I've got to take action on this. Now the fast action taker in me immediately messaged her, and I was like, Hey, I and I went through her work and You know, it really resonated with me. She teaches a lot about self love and self worth and manifestation. I was like, This girl is awesome. And so I straight up asked her, I'm like, Hey, you want to get one of my partners? Like I saw your Instagram post, like, I want to take the action and you were so kind and I love what you suggested to me before you agreed to come on the show as you like, set a boundary for yourself that you weren't going to come on. You know, you had so many white women who are asking you to be on the podcast, which was amazing. But you said you wanted to set a boundary for yourself and that you suggested I read the book me and white supremacy before you came on. And I thought that was so awesome that you set that boundary for yourself. And it was just so powerful. And you know, I mean, I think your posts shook me in so many ways, communicating with you. It shook me in so many powerful positive ways. And I realized after the fact that like, Oh my goodness, I just messaged her thinking that Oh, she's gonna you know, I think this It was partly subconscious, but I messaged you thinking like, oh, like, Okay, good, like I can get someone to bring diversity on my podcast. And then, you know, she can like, Tell, tell people what to do. And this will be good too, like she's, you know. And then I started reading me and white supremacy and realized that like, that's part of the problem. That's my privilege in and of itself. And that's part of the system that we need to dismantle is like thinking that the burden falls on people who have had these experiences of oppression, to be the teachers and to be the educators. And so I just want to acknowledge you for that, and also apologize for that. But I think it happened in divine timing, and it was all meant to happen today, but I'll stop there and let you tell us about you and what you do, and what led you to doing the work you're doing today. Mm


hmm. Thank you so much for that introduction. And yeah, before I get on to me, I just want to say thank you for sharing. Thank you for sharing what you just shared. I think that's really, really powerful.


And thank you.


I know that you know, and there are so many other books to read about race, but that one was just one that I started reading myself too. And I was like, this is a great book to introduce people to this topic. And for me, it's very important that anyone that wants to bring more diversity into their work or wants to wants to be thinking about how to be actively anti racist, it's not just the have a person of color on your podcast, have more black yoga teachers, those things are needed on top of the education, you know, is that we need the educators now first, and then when you do the education, you understand why you're doing the other things. So yeah, I started reading it.


Yeah, and it's like, you know, concept of like the, the, for me that one of my like, core beliefs is that like, it all starts with the inner work, like in order to create change in your external reality. You have to start internal and so I think that education is that internal piece like me The changes within yourself so that you're able to take those inspired actions in the world and show up in a way that impacts other people too.


Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So yeah, so thank you. So you asked about me, I'm, I'm a self love coach and a yoga teacher. And I guide women to love themselves to deeply love themselves to feel worthy from the inside out so that from that space, they can call in, you know, their deepest desires, whatever that might be a business, they love, a relationship, and a life that feels aligned and passionate and powerful. But calling it in from a deep space of, I'm worthy. I'm worthy enough to have this life that I really, really want because that's the place that we can cool things in from in a sustainable way. And I always think that that's the sometimes a missing kind of Missing Link when we think about manifestation, it's like to, to really believe that you're going to get that thing that you want, you first need to believe that you're really worthy of having it. And that starts with you that starts with self love. So, so yeah, that's that's what I do.


100% I couldn't agree more. Was there a journey that you went on like your own self love and self worth journey that led you to want to share this work with other people?


Yeah, I think my my journey has been an interesting one, and not actually of starting from a place of low self worth. And it's been interesting because what's come up in the last few few weeks with race, I realized how deeply linked that is to identity and self love if you're a person of color. And I realized and I've discovered that my mom's white, my dad's black, and I grew up just in my mom and I realized how great a job she did actually Helping me from you know, a really young age feel really comfortable in like, my brown skin, you know, like and that was something that I embraced from a young age. So I think that has been a really powerful part of myself love journey, always actually feeling quite at home in my skin even though it was a different color to my mum's. But a really, I think, powerful important part of my journey has been this idea of exploration and of curiosity, and they've never never having to do what you think you should be doing. And, and so I think that is why I'd like to do this work to help other people do the same because I've come from very diverse background in terms of experiences and careers from loving dance, and wanting to be a dance. So I try that out for a bit too doing an economics degree, to being a primary school teacher to working in a corporate company. Lots of different things and then eventually yoga teaching and, and I trained to be a coach. And that for me feels like such a journey of self love, because I see how people are so terrified of trying things out of doing what they're maybe not supposed to do because they're so intent on like, what will my parents they will all my friends, they will all society think if I do this job or I take this path that isn't the done thing. And so for me my whole kind of life journey since leaving school has been very much a journey of like, what Where does my heart want to be? what feels right for me? What do I want to explore now? And that's a total journey of self love and of listening to me rather than other people. And along the way, because that was just quite inherent in me to to live my life that way. But along the way, I realized that not everyone does quite challenging for a lot of people. But the kind of the freedom that that's given me along the way, I realized I want more people to be able to act from that space. And then when I eventually got to teaching yoga and then to coaching, I was like, okay, like this feels really really right this is this is a space and this is work where I can really share what's on my heart more than I have before. Yeah, that's, that's so amazing. So were you always like spiritual? Or would you say you like feel like you had some like turning point or awakening? Like, was it yoga that kind of like transitioned you into the more spiritual world or is that something you always like had within you? That's such a good question. I love that question. I definitely was never consciously spiritual until I came out of a long 11 year relationship and started my yoga teacher training right at the same time before then. I've never called myself spiritual. Although if I look at me, I was quite open hearted. I was exploring all of these different jobs. I wasn't you know, I wasn't living in a, in the way that society told me to. And I think the dance for me was also quite creative and expressive. But I never called myself spiritual. And I was very Anbu and I'm still pretty young guru. Now to be honest, I'm pretty like I'm my approach to spirituality now is quite simple. But yeah, it was really coming out of a really long relationship and starting my yoga teacher training, I went to India, and it was then that that journey really, really begun. And for me, I think breakups are like the biggest can be if you if you can, yeah, biggest spiritual awakening, they can be like the biggest life shift in a really beautiful way. If you're open to doing that work, so for me, that was just like, whoa, oh, my goodness. There's all of this stuff to look at.


Relationships show us a lot.


Oh my god, guys so much.


Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay, so then you did the yoga teacher training. Do you still teach yoga? Yeah, yeah, no, I do I love I love teaching yoga. Yeah. Do you teach Emperor center online or both?


Well since Corona


Yeah, so


I was, I was teaching in person or you know, up until, yeah, up until a few months before kind of Corona hit maybe. And so I was teaching in London a lot. Too much really, you know, like for for my energy levels. And then teaching, teaching in Bali quite a lot as well. One of the main studios and now I'm teaching less, and I think I'm teaching yoga. I love it. And it's always something that I want to do, but I want to find a more sustainable way. So once studios open Maybe I'll just teach a couple studio classes a week. And then I can focus on all of my other work online.


Yeah, yeah, it's definitely how it's gone. So I used to teach bar for a couple years and and yeah, it's amazing because I'm like such an introvert though. So like, being what felt like on stage for an hour like afterwards, I'd be like, catch my breath. Like, I'd be like, so like, emotionally drained. So I can definitely relate to that and understand that, but that's amazing. I feel like yoga is just so special. So do you have what's your practice? Like now? Like, do you do yoga causes as well? Or are you just focused on like the teaching now like, are you able to do both? Does that make sense?


Like is my personal practice evening? Yeah. My personal practice in terms of getting on the yoga mat and like, blowing varies all the time, from kind of month to month from year to year. I realized now that my kind of daily committed Went to yoga is my meditation practice. It's my like morning routine. It's how I show up in the day to day moments that are yoga off the mat. And it's my, you know, how I think how I see the world like all of that is my non negotiable yoga. And I don't. Yeah, I don't necessarily get on the mat and do a flow every day. So I try and move every day, but it's not always it's not always yoga.


Yeah, that's so cool. I feel like one of the most amazing things about yoga is when you're on the mat. It's just practice for when you're off, basically. And I feel like I do this one yoga class like once a week and the instructor does this like really intense coffees like, basically it's the world's best motivational speaker. It's so good. And during it he, he's always like reiterating the message and you're like holding the poses of like, essentially the message of this is where like, the thoughts in your mind disappear like go deeper into that. discomfort goes as far as deep as you can enter this discomfort into your breath and out of your thoughts and stays there. And you I think through yoga you like learn so well to like, be in that discomfort and be okay and so that when you're out in the world like living life, like when uncomfortable things happen, you can be with it and stay with it.


Absolutely, absolutely. And that is you know, that is the the true practice of yoga on a deeper level and most of us start yoga for like the physical for the stretching and for the strengthening and, and then we realize that it's about something a bit more than that, you know, like, that sounds great. But like, the deeper level is way greater,


so much more. Yeah, I've had I mean, I every time I go to a yoga class, I feel like I'm like re re spiritually awakened, like, so special. So that's really, really cool that you teach yoga. So I know you said that, like when you were like leaving school, you were really Just like listening to your heart over what society tells you like, what, what made that possible for you like how were you able to turn off those expectations from society and just listen to what felt right for you?


Yeah, I think I was. I feel very grateful that my mum was quite open. You know, she she was never like, you must do this. And I think she I've always been quite, I've always been very, very hard working. You know, I was like a straight A student. I always try really hard. I always worked really hard and none of my career decisions were like, quick, like, silly decisions. I really thought about all of them, even though there were many different things. I think my mom knew that she knew that all of my decisions I'd been I've thought about she knew how hard I worked. And she trusted me you know, she, she let me make my own decision. So I'm so grateful that I didn't have that because I know a lot of people do have the worry of what am I paying? Going to think so that was that was a massive help. And apart from that, I just I think I've just always been someone that struggles to continue doing something that doesn't feel right for me. I am just not able to do it for very long. I remember one of my one of my jobs and so it was in management consulting like one of the big four professional services firms so like one of my most famous one of the most famous companies in the world it's one of these jobs that like you know, you're leaving university I studied economics is one of these jobs that your your university peers like wow, that's such a great job like amazing and, and you know, I get there and I'm like, this is this is not for me. It's a graduate. It's like a two year graduate scheme for everyone that's, you know, just recently left University and I think in that whole graduate scheme there probably a, you know, a few hundred of us. I was like this First person to leave after maybe seven or eight months. And I know lots of other people wanted to leave too, but they probably felt like they have to stay for a lot longer. And yeah, I've just always had this this feeling of if it's not right, if I know it's not right for me, what's the point in staying? And so I, from that point I moved on to teaching in primary schools, which I loved way more than that. So yeah, just that feeling of like, I'm not able to stay somewhere that doesn't feel right for too long.


I'm gonna have the same way and yeah, that's really, really interesting for someone who wouldn't maybe identify with that who's who has trouble like following their heart and what feels good and they're finding themselves like, just doing what they're supposed to, but it's not fulfilling and it's, it doesn't feel right for them. Like what would what would you say to them?


Um, I think people struggle with putting a lot of pressure on themselves or having to, like, choose this one thing, you know, like, I have to know what my purpose is what my main like thing is. And so it feels quite challenging to get to that one thing. So a concept that I like and I live by is following my curiosity. And that doesn't mean you need to quit a job straight away, you know? It's like, what are you curious to explore? Like, what are the things that just make you kind of look up and like, oh, there's something there can be anything during a course like reading a book or doing something online going to an event. And don't ignore those moments of curiosity, where you're like, Oh, that looks interesting, actually going down, taking that route, going down that path, seeing where it leads, it might lead you somewhere. There might be something that comes from it. You might, you know, realize you love it and you want to go further. You might realize you don't like it, and then cool, you haven't lost anything. You've tried something out and so on. That was a really great way of taking some pressure off, you know, just following your curiosity rather than thinking you have to have this massive passion straight away. And when you allow yourself to go along that curiosity route, like, eventually, if you continue following that, you might feel some kind of passion for the thing at some point at the end, but without the pressure, you know?


Yeah, so true. I think we're all like not, I mean, probably not everyone can see them. But so many of us are really trained to believe growing up, it's like, okay, you, you go to school, you get good grades, you get a degree, you get a good corporate job, and you go to work from nine to five, and then maybe you get married and you get a house and you have kids and it's like, Man, it's like, so I don't even know what words to put to that, but just limited. It's like, it's like a boss and not that that's a bad life. If that's what anybody wants us. It could take so many of those things I want to but I think it's that we limit ourselves. We don't even like take the chance to go down those beautiful like side routes that might lead somewhere like really magical because we're so fixated on like, no goddess stay on this one path and like blocking us from experiencing all the other like beautiful paths and they lead us to more fulfilling places and things like that.


Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.


I love it. This is so good. I think your outlook on all this is so amazing. And I agree with it so much. And there was a quote on your website, I saw and it said, how you show up for yourself. It's how you show up for your life. So can you talk a little bit more about that and like what that means to you?


Yeah, it for me. You know, it's all about the relationships that we have with our with ourselves. This is self love. This is the work of self love. How you show up for you daily the relationship that you have with yourself daily, then translates to how you You show up in your relationships, how you operate your business, the relationship that you have with money, the home that you live in how you interact with, with people in society, like all of those interactions and all of those ways that you show up in the rest of your life. Start with the way that you show up for yourself. Start with the conversations you have with yourself. Start with how you know where the you you feel right now as you are. So yeah, I think for me, it's a beautiful summary of what self love can can look like.


Yeah, why do you think I know so many women in the world struggle with self love and feeling worthy of the things that they want? Like what do you think prevents us from having that powerful relationship with ourselves in showing up for ourselves in a loving way?


Hmm, so many things. festival whenever never taught how to love ourselves, and it's something that We're just kind of expected to know. And really society, you know, we come out of the womb, loving ourselves, right? We come out of the womb, full of love. And what happens then throughout our lives is we unlearned that self love, we've unlocked it because the different things have happened to us because of experiences throughout childhood, throughout our teenagers throughout adulthood. That begins to reinforce these limiting beliefs of not good enough, not good as her imposter syndrome, I need to try more, I need to do less. So you know, all of these different limiting beliefs that start to form over our life. That mean we unlearn the self love that we were born with. So really, it's a it's relearning of something that is deeply inherent within us. And to realize that we need to let go of the stuff that has kind of been blocking us from it.


I logged on I'm so glad you said that because it's not like this thing that's outside of us that we have to go figure out how to bring into us. It's like no, it was already there. It is already there. All we have to do is unlearn these limiting beliefs and things that are holding us back from our innate essence, which is love. Yes, yes. Yes,




I love it. I love it. So how then does I know you talked a little bit about this in the beginning to like link between like self love and self worth and manifestation like, Can we talk a little bit more about that? Like, how do they all like link up together?


Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So for me, manifestation it for you to truly believe that whatever you desire is possible for you. And you know that that belief is an important part of manifestation. That beliefs feel really like true. You need to actually believe that you're worthy of that thing. So there's this like, what Venus piece that is so, so, so important the manifestation and you know, there are so many different concepts. So if I think of the idea of we attract, you know what we are, we are attracting the energy that we're vibrating right this moment. So how can we get into the, the space of what we're calling in? And for me that's a work of self love, you know, if a partner or a business or a home you know, it's often not those things that we want is the feelings that those things are going to are going to give us who we think we want the partner. But we want the security, we want the love, we want the connection, we think we want the money, but we want me choice, you know, we want to be able to choose, we want the freedom that comes with that. We think we want me home, but we actually want the feeling of groundedness and the feeling of security. So it's like how can we start to get in that feeling space right now for us and that's a really big thing. self love piece like how can we start to cultivate all of those beautiful feelings that we're really desiring? How can we start to be that right now those things that we want? How can we start to to be that by getting into that feeling space, and then you know, almost beget not totally forget, but almost put aside those external goals and just focus on us just focus on our own self love raising our own vibration for us getting into those feelings just for us and our own well being. And then from that space, the things that we actually desire are more likely to come along. So for me, that is a massive practice of self love.


Yeah, I'm so glad that you mentioned this idea of like, it's okay to put your external goals to the side and like focused on yourself. And like doing so. It feels better. Yeah, and, and that's the very thing that allows you to create these things that you want in your life? Hmm, yeah. Yeah.


Then that's the space from which they, they come like you attract them. When you're when you're feeling good, you attract the things that you want when you're feeling good. You know the partner that you really want the job that you really want the money that you really want. When you're feeling really good in yourself, those things come along. So yes, such a big part of self love really, for me.


Yeah. And I think that a lot of times we get caught up in like, the goals and like, Oh my gosh, if I don't have this goal, or this exact vision or like, exactly what I want, like mapped out, then I'm not going to be able to manifest it right. Hmm.


Yeah, yeah. And, you know, getting specific on what we want is great if you're able to if you know exactly what you want. And I think that's really powerful. If you get really clear on your desires, that's really powerful. And there is A lot of power there. But if you're still a little unsure, like working on you, and you're about vibration and feeling really good is like a really amazing place to start. Always, you know?


Yes, absolutely. I love that. So what would you say is a good place to start to improve and increase your self worth and self love? Where's a good place to start? Or what are some of the practices that you use in your life and with your clients? Hmm.


Yeah, so so many different things from work on limiting beliefs to things that you do daily. So maybe I'll talk about some daily practices, being aware of your your, your thoughts, and different tools that you can start to use to look at yourself differently. So mirror work is really, really great for that. And it's like, if you've never done it before, if you've never stood in front of a mirror and said amazing things about yourself that can feel so damn awkward, right? He's gonna feel like weird. I get people to do it in workshops, like next to each other sometimes. And that is like freaking out or it's like, this is what you want other people to say about you, you know, you so you so deeply want your partner or your friend to say these things but you saying them to yourself makes you feel weird. Yeah, well, why? How are we living in a way where we feel strange speaking to ourselves in that way? So yeah, practice of really treating yourself as if you're your best friend as if you're your lover. And the different ways that you can do that. Yeah, mirrors, you know, a minute a day. affirmations. Love letter writing can be really powerful. Even affirmations on post, it was really beautiful voice notes that you can like record, and then listen to each morning. And it's really powerful because when people start they're super awkward, you know? If you've never done that kind of thing before it can feel really awkward. And then like anything the more you do it, the more you get used to it. And that is I I just see such a massive shift in people's confidence when they practice speaking to themselves with with love and with with kindness and where you know, with confidence and with empowering words. So that is something that anyone can start to implement really quickly and easily.


So true. And when we like, speak to ourselves with those disempowering words, it's no surprise that then leads to disempowering thoughts, disempowering feelings, disempowering actions, disempowering experiences, like it comes back to those disempowering thoughts that we're having about ourselves. When we can change those two empowering thoughts. Then we can create new empowering actions through empowering experiences and they unlock everything.


Yeah, exactly. Exactly.


So speaking of self love, like is that a tool that We can use like with everything going on right now like a self love a tool that we can use to use our voices and an effective and helpful way and use our resources in an effective and helpful way to help end the racial and justices in the world.


Mm hmm. Yeah, I see. I've been reflecting so much on this over the last few weeks. And the link between self love and our spiritual practices with with anti racism work is is so closely linked for a couple of different reasons. On the side of if you're a person of color, you know, your self love is like we've we've almost been taught by society to forget like for me to forget that I'm Brown, you know, to kind of deny my very existence it hasn't even been spoken about until the last few weeks. And by denying and like the fact that this is the color of my skin, and I should be proud of this I can say that I love my brown skin. You know, like, I've been denying I say I meaning any really person of color that hasn't spoken yet about their skin color and embracing it. We've been denying a really big part of who we are. And I ran it like, go ahead. I was going to say it's like the Layla says in her book man white supremacy about color blindness and how like, we think that's a good thing. Like, oh, I don't see color. And it's like, but that's like you said that that very thing was the thing that caused you to feel like you weren't seeing you weren't able to, like fully like, be who you were. Absolutely, absolutely. And because of the system that were under white people have been saying we don't see your color, and it's like, but this is a part of who I am. And I do want to be proud of this. And I have this self love and yesterday for women of color and it was so powerful. It was so so powerful because it was like for the first time Some of these women, lots of them actually said, like, I've never said I love my brown skin, you know, like, that's just never even been something that I've even like, thought of even saying. And it was super, super powerful for me yesterday to see the most obvious link between your race, the color of your skin, how you feel about how you belong and self love, like those things are so closely linked. So that's on one side. And then on the other side, I don't think our back I know you cannot call yourself spiritual if you're not doing anti racist, anti racism work and this is the for the on the side of you know, white white people. You can't be spiritual and totally bypass anti racism work. Because the core of spirituality is being a good person for the planet, you know, and doing the right thing


and or the collective


or the collective yeah and anti racism work as a white person. In his deep Shadow Work, it's gonna bring up so many core wounds and so much discomfort that you're not going to want to look at because it's uncomfortable. And that is spirituality. You know, spirituality is not just rainbows and like some sunshine, it's like the deep stuff. So for me, it was such a such a big link


100% and yeah, I can attest to the discomfort. I feel like I was so ignorant to educating myself because I never had to. I didn't have experiences that led me to feel like I needed to educate myself and I'm so glad that I am now and forgive myself for having not in the past, but yeah, it's doing the journal prompts in that book. I'm thinking I'm on like day 14, and it's intense. I was like, take a deep breath right now and just like thinking about it, it's intense and it brings up a lot and you have to face a lot of within yourself in ways that you've been contributing to this system, maybe even without knowing it, and, you know, we can't just like take a back seat and think, Oh, well, you know, because I'm, I don't see color and I'm not racist. So therefore, there's no work to be done. But there is work to be done, because most of the work to be done is subconscious. Yeah. And we have to go to those depths and, and on earth at all. So yeah, thank you so much for sharing that book with me. I hope that everyone listening will also read it because it's really, really powerful. So for you and in your life, how have you experienced racism? Like what has been your experience with that if you're willing to share?


Yeah, so I think for me, I'll say my experiences have been or haven't haven't been aggressively over, you know. And so I think for me, it's been easy To think, like, I haven't really experienced that much racism, you know, like on a surface level I haven't. I mean, I'm like, I may have been cooled some names a few times, but like, I haven't experienced really deeply obvious overt racism on like regular occasions. So it's easy for me to think like, oh, maybe maybe no one's ever racist to me. But that is almost a sign of it in itself that even for me, I've normalized the subtleties of the system, which we're living in the subtleties of white supremacy system, the microaggressions that kind of happened continuously, which are now normal, with air quotes, normal, normal for me, for example, the insistence on someone's asking like, no, but where are you really from? Like, where are you really, really from? when when when I say when I sweat, I said, This isn't everybody that asked me right. Some people know how to say in the right way, but when When I say I'm from London, and they just say that and it's an obvious like, I can tell you're not white, like the, you know, better than I think they're thinking. But then yeah, where are you really from? That's a part of this system, even though it doesn't sound like you don't belong here along the underlying message. Exactly. You don't belong here. So things like that things like often being the only non white person in spaces that I'm in or like working in, especially in the wellness industry. And then if I'm hired for things, you know, there's just that like, Question in the back of my mind, like, did you hire me just like ticker? a quota box, your ethnic minority quota box checked? Or like, you know, I know, I'm great at what I do, too. But there's just always like a background question of not being sure when you're stopped at the airport to get searched in a white person. No, they don't stop the white person that's next to you. You're like is this just Random or do I look more like someone that could have a bomb on me, you know. And there's also all of those things that you start to normalize. But really, you know that there's something else going on there, you know that your race plays a part in the way that you're treated in society, even if it isn't always overtly racist. And these things actually we need to tackle.


Yeah, the things that people aren't aware of that they're doing. Exactly. And that's so interesting that you mentioned that because I noticed as I was doing some of the journal prompts, chill, you know, ask you a question about like, you know, and what ways have you observed racism are these acts of oppression? And when I think about it, I'm like, well, gosh, I can't really think of that many experiences where I've seen overt racism or what we think of as racism. I'm like, I don't really see that in my experience. Also, I don't I don't know what to like, write down for this. question and it's exactly what you're saying. And I feel like I wasn't seeing it because it's so much of it is subtleties and obviously the overt acts and things, obviously are a huge part of it and needs to be like worked on as well. But I think it's, yeah, those subtleties that we I think this is a really beautiful, powerful time bringing light to those. Yeah,


absolutely. Absolutely. And, you know, it's like I it's such a, I don't know what the right word is challenging topic sensitive topic, because I, I'm so consciously aware of people that have experienced really deeply painful aggressive racism Actually, my my best partner, I was with for a long time, the 11 year one, he was stopped over 40 times during the duration of our relationship by police just while he was driving his car. And it would just be a continuous conversation like, Oh, yeah, I was stopped again today. So that you know, that was Over the racist the time when he got, you know, like all of those things that happened there, I so I've witnessed a lot of stuff. But I think sometimes because I haven't experienced exactly what he experienced in myself, it's easy for me to normalize it. And so I never want to downplay what other people have experienced, it has been deeply painful. But I also want us to remember the subtler things that go on in society that we really need to look out as well.


Yeah, that's such a good point. And yeah, that's that's exactly why I asked you that question is I wanted to give you the space give other women the space to share their experience and for me to bring my and hopefully other listeners awareness to the things that we maybe aren't seeing on the surface. So thank you. Thank you so much for sharing that. So what are what are your thoughts about how manifestation fits into all of this? Hmm, yeah.


And you're not the first person asked me this question, actually. And I'm not sure I have a totally definitive answer. Yeah. And I, I think it's made me it clear in my mind why I do the work that I do with self love actually. Because I don't go super deep into all the different manifestation areas my work is very much centered around self love and worthiness. And that being the place from which we create a life we love, and


that does not really for manifestation.


Say that again.


It's kind of like the vessel for Yeah, yeah,


exactly as the vessel for manifestation. And that for me feels really, really empowering for a person of any color, you know, to work on their inherent worth their inherent self love to get to that space of feeling really deeply empowered. So that feels really aligned for me kind of as a woman of color before but even more so now, I think, given what's been going on in the world, so yeah, So I think that that's


why I do the work that I do. But I know there is a bigger conversation that is happening at the moment about manifestation. And I'm currently not 100% sure where I sit on that. But I know lots of lots of people have been talking about it for sure. Because I think I could imagine and I haven't been doing too much scrolling on social media to dacha something I don't do regularly, just because, yes, a lot of it anyway. So I would imagine that there are plenty of people who believe manifestation is just a tool to expand white supremacy, and keep that system intact. And yeah, it's really interesting. I don't think I know where I'm at with all of it either, but it's definitely something good to think about.


Yeah, definitely. Definitely some exploration to do there.


Yeah, definitely. So what are some of your personal favorite spiritual practices or rituals? They know you mentioned your morning routine like what are some of those like non negotiables for you in the morning?


Yeah, my morning routine is Yeah, it feels like a beautiful You know, I call it my lights, my self love practices my like my time for me before I give my energy to anyone or anything else. So I started meditation. And then I do a gratitude practice and my gratitude practice now is really enjoying it. I start with the things I'm grateful for that are in this current space that I'm in. So the small things to kind of train us, you know, train my mind to appreciate the small simple things that we sometimes forget. And then stage two of a gratitude practice is to be grateful for the wider things are in my life right now. My friends, my family, the things outside of my room, my work the thing that's the things that give my my life a bit more meaning and purpose. And then stage three is being grateful for the things that I'm calling in, you know, that I haven't yet manifested. And yeah, taking a little moment to acknowledge my gratitude for them. So I do that. And then I do a little journaling session, which isn't doesn't last too long. But I like to acknowledge my feelings, just do a check in of like, how am I feeling and write it out. That's a really important part of myself love practice, to acknowledge and to welcome in the good feelings as well as the shady feelings and to know that they're okay to I give myself a little moment for that. And then whatever it is that I'm kind of working on, or the energy that I want to be in, I'll probably have kind of an affirmation that I'm focusing on that I'll spend, you know, a minute or so. reminding myself of, yeah, and then you know, after that, like, at some point, I'll do some, some yoga or workout or a bar class or whatever it is, as well. Yeah.


I love it. That sounds like a wonderful morning. So before we wrap up Up. Is there anything that we didn't talk about that you have on your heart to share?


Oh, I don't know.


It sounded a lot like me anything like lingering that means, yeah, come to the surface.


I think just the just the reminder again, that this self love work is is super powerful and important. And we also don't need to overthink it. But it's this idea that the more that you come home to you, the more that you allow yourself to be you who you really are. Like, that's the place from which you feel like you're living authentically. Like you feel like you're living your purpose. So allowing yourself to be yourself which can be a challenge in itself but some people and allowing yourself to be you and you know, the more you You are the better you feel. You know, like I love the quote, no one is us. And that is your greatest superpower. Like, no one can you being you is like, that's your unique selling point, you know? And the more that you can get into that space of who you really are, the better you feel. And also, the more able you are to cold in the things that feel authentic to us.


Yeah, I love that. That's so amazing. And thank you so much. This is such an awesome conversation. I'm so glad I found it. And so happy to keep along with your journey. So where can we find out more about you and hang out with you?


Yeah, thank you. And you can find me on Instagram. It's just my name and then my website is my name sabka calm and information about coaching


is there on all my Instagram. Amazing. Thank you so much.


Thank you. Thanks so much for having me. It's been so so good to chat with you.


I'm so grateful. listening today if this resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you'd hit subscribe and then leave a review on iTunes and everybody is invited to the after party, which takes place every day on Instagram I medically you so come hang out with us there. And if you're really fired up about mindset, spiritual and personal development, head to magnetical use comm to check out all the fun stuff I've learned on there like my coaching, and my courses, free workshops, all the good stuff and I will see you on the next episode.

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