how to overcome imposter syndrome

podcast Mar 05, 2022

Have you ever had this feeling that at any moment people might find out you're not as much of an expert as they think? Have you ever felt like you're lying about your success even though you're not? Have you ever felt like you don't deserve the success you've achieved or that it was a fluke?

You're probably experiencing imposter syndrome.

If you don't know how to navigate it and develop a nourishing relationship with it, it can send you into emotional spirals, hiding, playing small, and keeping you stuck.

I recently made a post about this on Instagram but wanted to dive deeper here.

In this episode, I'm sharing how I personally navigated imposter syndrome when it came up for me recently and how you can overcome it.


In this episode, you'll learn:

✧ How I navigated feeling like an imposter recently

✧ 5 signs you're experiencing imposter syndrome

✧ The real reasons you feel like an imposter

✧ Why not addressing imposter syndrome can keep you playing small and stuck

✧ How to navigate imposter syndrome when it comes up at the moment

✧ Healing the deeper layers of imposter syndrome


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Full Episode Transcript:

Hello, and welcome to the magnetical you podcast. I'm your host Madison's or Diag, I'm a mindset energy coach, here to help you feel your freaking best and manifest a life full of magic miracles and abundance. I know that whatever led you here did not happen by coincidence. So I am so excited and grateful to have you here. So let's let the magic begin.

Hi, and welcome back to Magnetico. Your podcast, I can't wait to share this episode with you. It's something that has come up for me recently. So we're going to be talking about how to overcome imposter syndrome. And yeah, so like I was saying this came up for me the other day, as I've been really expanding and up leveling in my business and getting really, really clear on what my areas of expertise are. And as I do that, as I own that more, as I show up in that way more, it is also brought with it the imposter syndrome of like, Oh, can I really do this? Like, do I actually know what I'm doing? Like, I feel I know, I'm an expert, but I also feel like I don't know absolutely nothing in the world. And it's like, you know, there's waves of I feel really confident. Yeah, of course, I know exactly what I'm doing. I know exactly what to say I know exactly how to support my clients. And then it's also like, I know absolutely fucking nothing. And that's okay, like, it's okay for there to be both of those. And so as I've been getting more specific in my areas of expertise, and owning those and sharing about those and, and honoring those, it feels more vulnerable. And like, my work is really going to be like put to the test, you should say it's like this feeling of like, Yeah, I'm more on the line by telling people more specifically, what I'm here to support them with, which is what I have been, you know, we're working on a lot over the last few weeks with my coaches, it's like, well, then I'm more specifically like on the hook, if that makes sense. And obviously, it's like, I'm not on the hook. But it's that feeling of like, Ooh, it feels like I'm putting myself more on the line. And that can feel really scary. And it doesn't mean I shouldn't do it, or I'm doing it wrong, or that I'm not qualified or that I'm not an expert. It's literally because I am expanding because I am growing. It is drawing this up to the surface so that my identity can match this new level of growth that I'm creating in my business, which is amazing. And it's so funny, because when this was coming up the other day, like I was literally crying at

dinner in Trevor. He's like, I feel like you're going through like some sort of like identity crisis. And I'm like, I was like, not even offended by that. I'm like, yes, no, that's literally amazing that you said that. Because it's not an identity crisis. We can call it a crisis, if we call it a crisis. It's an identity transformation. It's a good thing, right? It's often a signal that you're up leveling that you're growing, that you're expanding out of your comfort zone. So it doesn't mean you're bad. It doesn't mean you're wrong. It doesn't mean you're not qualified. It doesn't mean you're going to fail. Like it's, it can be a normal part of the process. It's just a matter of like, how do you work with it? What's your relationship with it? How do you navigate it? And are you aware of where it's coming from? And are you aware that this is something that you're experiencing, right? And it's really just learning how to navigate it and developing the personal power to be able to move with it and through it, and then also simultaneously building up that, that new identity that matches that new level of success and expansion. So I'm going to share first five signs that you're experiencing imposter syndrome. So it can feel like one you're lying. Even though you're you're like I'm not lying, but you can feel like you're lying. Number two, you have this underlying sense that you're doing something wrong and that you're going to be like found out at any moment, everyone's going to find out you actually don't know anything. Number three, this feeling that you aren't qualified. Number four, you feel like you have to convince potential clients or prove something in order for them to sign up. And the fifth thing is that it feels like you're trying to be someone you're not. It's like this trying and trying and trying to be the expert, but you don't actually experience yourself as the expert. And that can feel really really, really exhausting to feel like this is not me. So therefore I have to be someone I'm in Not in order to succeed, and it can be really, really exhausting. So the reasons that you may feel like an imposter is one, not because you are not because you are a fraud, it's because you're believing the thoughts telling you you are. So feeling and thinking your fraud is not the same thing as being a fraud. And so, being able to distinguish that is so powerful. That's why this came up. For me, this has come up for me, I mean, not that much in the last like year or so. And it like just recently came up the other day. And it was I was able to like very, very quickly move through it. Like it came up for a few minutes, I felt it, I had my meltdown, I allowed myself to feel it all. And then I was able to like, move on and step back into my power even reclaim more of my power. And so that's a really important like point is, are you believing the feelings? Are you believing the thoughts telling you you're a fraud, because it's not the same thing that is actually being a fraud, feeling and thinking are different, right? You have this idea that you have to be a certain way or look a certain way or say things a certain way to succeed, and you're trying to portray yourself as someone that you're not because it's who you think you have to be. You might also feel like an imposter because you have an unbeatable definition of what it means to be an expert who's in integrity with what they teach. So maybe you feel like in order to be an integrity and to be an expert, you have to know everything, you do everything perfect and absolutely have zero doubts, and zero worries and zero questions. And never wonder what to say on a client call, right? This is rooted in perfectionism. And it really requires healing those deeper layers, right? Like if if imposter syndrome is coming up, over and over and over again for you, right? Like there's deeper healing that needs to happen, right? So the last reason you might feel like an imposter is because you're waiting for other people to validate you and deem you an expert. So like, no one's gonna come, come to your house and like wave a wand? I don't know, this makes me think of what does that movie The Princess Diaries where she's like I w queen of whatever. No one's gonna be like, I hereby claim you an expert. And like, we have you with a wand. And then poof, you're somehow an expert. Right? Like, you have to validate yourself, no one else is going to do this for you. And if you're waiting for someone to come on your Instagram post and be like, Wow, you're really an expert. Like,

there might have been but like, again, that wouldn't even do anything, even if that did happen. Because again, this comes from an internal self validation, and not externally. So imposter syndrome is something that keeps coming up for you. So here's the thing, you don't have to get rid of imposter syndrome to succeed to move forward. It's just what is your relationship to it? Right? Are you allowing it? Are you believing it? Are you thinking? Are you perpetuating? Are you spiraling in it? Are you believing the thoughts? Are you staying stuck in it? Are you hiding? Are you playing small? Are you allowing it to keep you stuck? Or are you like, I feel imposter syndrome, and it's okay, I'm gonna keep fucking going anyways, like I did the other day. It's like, Oh, I feel like an imposter. And that's okay. The next day I wake up, and I fucking go. And I keep showing up. In my business. I'm like, Oh, this doesn't mean anything about me or who I am or what I get to have this as some bullshit. I felt it, I allowed it. And then I allowed myself to move on. And instead of believing it and allowing it to keep me stuck, so if we don't address it, and develop that emotional resilience, change our definition of what it means to be an expert and all those deeper layers, then we can have a really an unhealthy relationship with it, where we really use it against ourselves to go into emotional like downward spirals, where we just go down and down, down and down. And we can't seem to just like feel it and allow it and then allow ourselves to kind of shift out of it. Or you might start hiding, not showing up, right, like, you know, it would have been so easy the other day to have that meltdown. And then the next day be like, Oh, I can't do anything, right. And it's like, I can feel like I can't do anything I can feel like, I have no idea what I'm doing and do it anyway. That's where the power is. The power is not in being perfect and never experiencing it. It's just how do you relate to it? How do you react to are you reacting to it in a nourishing, effective, empowering way? Or are you letting it are you hiding? Are you playing small? Are you letting it keep you stuck? are you reacting by going into self sabotage and allowing it to keep you from the success that you desire? So one of my clients that I worked with Recently, she had really, really extreme imposter syndrome that kept coming up, even though she was like super smart, super successful, super talented. And she was just feeling so burnt out and exhausted all the time. Like she always needed to be doing more. And she really just like, couldn't enjoy her success and we really worked on that was something we really worked on together was just like healing those deeper layers and not allowing it to keep her hiding and playing small and stuck and stuck in emotional spiral stuck and overthinking, and instead allow it to come with her and stand in her power. Anyways. And within a few months of working together, she was promoted to CEO at her company, and it's like, we can allow it to keep us small, or we can use it as fuel to expand into our next level. And like that's really the difference of are we using this against ourselves to beat ourselves up? Or are we allowing it to fuel us into what we desire. So I'm going to talk about kind of, in the moment, what you can do to navigate it when it's like the intensity and the like heightened emotions are coming up. And then I'm going to talk about kind of like healing those deeper layers that are not necessarily like an in the moment shift. So in the moment when it comes up and you start overanalyzing feeling really anxious, really doubtful, like shutting down, breathe, feel it, allow it, allow it, allow it allow it allow it allow it, I feel imposter syndrome, and that's okay. I feel like a fraud and that's okay. I feel like I have no fucking clue what I'm doing and that's okay. And where do you feel it in your body? I feel this like racing heart and tight chest and nauseous in my stomach and like I'm going to throw up, and that's okay. Right? You've given yourself the chance to process the emotion, then you can ask your inner voice, what do you want me to know? What would you have me do? See what comes through listen to what comes through and then you keep going, you don't let the imposter syndrome stop you or slow you down, or spiral into self sabotage, you use it as fuel, and you move with it. So that's kind of like in the moment, if it's like coming up really, really strongly, and you feel like oh my god, I should change what I'm doing. Because I'm like, not an expert in this or I should do this. It's very, very frantic. That's, you know, side note that like frantic, desperate, like need to change or fix something right now. Energy is usually not your intuition. It's usually a like reactive old emotional energetic pattern or like coding, you could call it it's, you could call it your ego, your conditioning, whatever it is that you want to call it. So that's kind of how you can decipher like, is this actually truth right? If it has that, like desperate frantic need to change something out energy to it, it's likely not truth, it's likely a like triggered emotional reaction that you do not need to react to.

And so the deeper layers of healing, if imposter syndrome is something that like keeps coming back up in it, it's really like getting in your way of moving forward and showing up how powerfully and creating the results that you want is one like feeling those perfectionism layers those, I have to be perfectly perfect an expert and know everything in order to, you know, like, tell people I can help them or believe I can help them. And it's like, again, it's like we create like as perfectionist that can be creating these you know, unreadable standards, these irrationally high on mutable standards. And it's like, so it's about, you know, releasing those deeper layers of perfectionism. There's elements of shadow work, right, loving and accepting the parts of yourself that you've made wrong. This is you know, deeper self worth work, where it's about knowing and embodying that you are deserving of success, right? Like what parts within you tell you that you're not deserving of success. And that kind of ties back to the shadow work where it's like, there are parts of you that you're deeming unworthy and undeserving of success. And it's also really about you know, I want to say mastering because I think, you know, people who have experienced perfectionist tendencies like me, that can be a strong word, but we'll just go with it. It's really mastering embodying practicing emotional intelligence where you can have those emotions and the heightened like fears and doubts and emotions come up without reacting to it without letting it send you into a spiral that keep you small or slow you down or stop you. You can feel it and and carry on anyways. And it's funny how we're like we feel a lot of like shame and guilt and like achy and my like stomach when we're experiencing imposter syndrome. And it's like, it's almost like we're skipping ahead to the, to what we think we'll feel when we get found out. Like if you know, let's say worst case scenario, someone, you know, comments on your Instagram, like, Oh my God, you're like a complete total fraud, you have no idea what you're saying, which like, totally could happen. Like, it's definitely happens people especially, you know, bigger people with bigger audiences and bigger brands like not everyone and it's gonna like super resonate with everything you say. And you know, that's okay, that's a different topic. But like, let's say that's a worst case scenario, right? So if that happened, then what would happen? Oh, well, you would feel a lot of like, shame and guilt and like, like you did something wrong. And those are just physical sensations that you could handle. And like, it's funny how, like, we like, somehow want to, like, just skip ahead to those like feelings and sensations to it's like, lessen the blow later. And it's like, a practice of learning to have the emotional intelligence and the emotional resilience to know that you can feel those emotions and they don't have to send you into self sabotage, and you continue moving towards your desires with your intuition. Anyways, so yesterday, Trevor, and I were on our coaching call with our relationship coach. And we were talking about, like, how I sometimes have those, like heightened emotional states come up. And Trevor immediately wants to go into like, like, let's find a solution. What do we need to do? What do we need to fix? Like, let me help you. Now I'm just like, No, no, no, no, like,

let me feel this, like, I'm not in a state to be problem solving right now. And I was, you know, we were kind of like working through that and talking through that, like, you know, how can we hold space for each other to be in our emotions without needing to, like, fix them or come up with a solution right away. And he was, like, you know, Madison, so after you've like, felt the emotion and process the emotion like, and you kind of have that, like, you're like, click your like, mental, like clarity and ability to like think clearly comes back on the grid? Like, can you be open to like, you know, asking Trevor what he thinks for like, solutions? Or can you be open to his, like, solutions or, or guidance? And I was like, yes, absolutely. And the funny thing is, usually, I don't even need a solution because there was no problem to begin with, it was just an emotional trigger. And oftentimes, we make the emotional trigger mean, there's a problem that needs to be fixed, gotta find the solution. And we go into like fixing mode, aka self sabotaging mode, when really, it's just an old triggered emotion when we can allow ourselves to process and release that emotion, which is something that I really, you know, go deep with helping my clients and body, then we no longer we can just feel the emotion, allow it to pass. And then it's like, oh, everything is fine, literally. So I share this all to remind you that imposter syndrome is normal. It does not mean you're not qualified. It doesn't mean you're going to fail. It doesn't mean anything, except that you're human. And you care deeply. And you're ambitious, and you're willing to go beyond the edges of your comfort zone. Like think about this for a second. It's like shaped someone who's like super, super shady and a liar and actually a fraud. They're never worrying if they're a fraud, because they don't give a fuck like they don't care about integrity, and ethics, right? So the fact that you're feeling that way just means that you do care and you aren't person right. If you were you wouldn't even be worried like frauds. Don't worry about being frauds it's the not frauds worry about being fraud. So just know it means you care deeply, you're not a fraud, you're ambitious, and you're just willing to go beyond the edges of your comfort zone. And that you don't have to be perfect or hide your humaneness or feel perfect all the time or feel like an extra all the time in order to be an expert in order to succeed in order to create the results that you desire in your business. So can you honor and love all parts of the journey all parts of yourself and know that like, you don't have to be perfect and it is okay to experience down it is okay to experience imposter syndrome. It is okay to sometimes struggle. Even though you're telling other people you can help them like you're new don't have to be fucking perfect to be a coach and to support people, okay? And the best, the best coaches, the best leaders are not the ones who never have doubt or never have imposter syndrome or never have any struggles. It's the ones who don't let it stop them. It's the ones who use it to reclaim even more of their power. It's the one to have that emotional resilience enough to keep going through the mess. Okay, so let's let go of this idea that experts have to be perfect. And know that you are a good person you are doing your best you are ultimately qualified and that all of those like thoughts and feelings that are coming up like are not necessary. saralee Truth, they're just thoughts. They're just feeling. So I hope this supported you, and working through some of this. And if you want to share this on social media screenshot and share it, I would absolutely love that. Share it with anyone who you think might benefit from it. And if this resonated with you, I would love to hear from you. Feel free to DM me on Instagram at Madison, dot Arnhold. And that is all for this week. I hope you have an amazing rest of your week and I'll see you on the next episode. Thank you so much for listening to the magnetical your podcast if this episode served you I ask that you share it with someone who it could make a difference for or share it on social media and tag me at magnetically you. Make sure to hit subscribe so you don't miss any of the magic. And it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review on iTunes. Thank you so so much from the bottom of my heart for being here. And I will see you in the next episode.

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