4 Tips to Make a Big Decision (Instead of Staying Stuck in Overthinking)

podcast Feb 19, 2022

If you've been stuck in overthinking about a big decision in your business (or life), this episode is for you!!

I know how exhausting it feels to be stuck in indecision and how it really feels like you "just CAN'T" decide. The good news is that you can feel this way AND still make a decision :)

 

In this episode, I'm sharing 4 tips to help you make a big decision instead of staying stuck in overthinking:

✧ How being indecisive holds you back from what you want

✧ Why there's no such thing as the right or wrong decision

✧ The sneaky reasons you're avoiding making a decision

✧ Better questions to ask yourself than "what should I do?"

✧ Why you need to stop telling yourself "I don't know" and the new story you need to tell yourself

✧ 4 simple tips to help you make decisions...one of these can help you decide in literally 3 seconds ;)

✧ What to do if doubt comes back after you've already made the decision

 

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Full Episode Transcript:

Hello, and welcome to the magnetical you podcast. I'm your host Madison's or Diag, I'm a mindset energy coach, here to help you feel your freaking best and manifest a life full of magic miracles and abundance. I know that whatever led you here did not happen by coincidence. So I am so excited and grateful to have you here. So let's let the magic begin.

Hi, and welcome back to the magnetic Vu podcast. This episode is going to help you so much if you tend to overthink things and stew and question what should I do? I don't know what I should do. And it just feels like there's like so much at stake. And maybe there's like a big decision that you're trying to make right now in your business or maybe your life and it feels like you literally just can't make the decision because you don't know what the right decision is. And if you make the wrong one, like what if everything gets fogged up and then it all goes to shit. So therefore you need to keep thinking and thinking I think anything again thinking and hope that you'll eventually feel like you've made the right decision? Well, I'm here to tell you, no amount of like overthinking is going to allow you to be able to predict the future. And this episode, I'm going to share four tips to make a big decision instead of staying stuck in the over thinking. So the reason why this is so important is because not making a decision comes at such a huge cost. It literally feels terrible to stay stuck and over thinking and questioning and not knowing it is so exhausting, right? You, you literally exhaust yourself with all of this, like indecision and questioning and thinking and wondering and then beating yourself up for not being able to decide. And really like if we want to be like Frank, it's like wasted time and wasted effort that actually could have been put into you have making a decision and then actually allowing yourself to move forward with that decision to learn to grow to experience the results that come from you making decisions, and then seeing how they turn out and then learning and then refining and then continuing to go when really nothing happens if you make no decision. So it's really important that we allow ourselves to like look at this pattern of staying stuck in indecision, especially in our businesses, like as an entrepreneur, like one of the most this is one of the most important skills that you can develop is the ability to make a decision. Even if you're even if you have doubt, even if you have confusion, even if you're second guessing it like to make it to be able to make a quick decision and then to have your back on that decision to make the decision and then not question the decision. And then you can assess later, and then you keep going that skill is so critical as an honor entrepreneur. And this is something that I have gotten so much for the last few years and really have been even embodying this on a new level the last few months. So I want to share these tips with you. Because like something that had been coming up for me, like so many times was like really owning this area of expertise that I have working with spiritual entrepreneurs who have burned out who are over thinkers, who really feel disconnected from their intuition and don't trust themselves and they want to come back to their intuition and come back to their trust, they can show up confidently and sell and show up in their business with a lot more ease and a lot more flow and I resisted owning this area. I was resisting owning this area of expertise for so long, because you know what, if it doesn't work, what if I want to change my mind? What if I want don't want to do this forever? What if I get bored talking about this, like, on and on, on on on and just wasn't serving me to stay stuck in confusion and in limbo. So I want to share with you like kind of, you know, what I'm sharing with you is part of how I made that decision to allow myself to lean into that area of expertise. And I'm going to give myself you know, like three to six months to really be with that and go all in on that have my back on that decision. allow myself the gift of not second guessing it and then re assess later. So, I want to share with you at first Before I get into kind of like the practical tips, I want to bring in some mindset around this because I think that's obviously where the, the indecision comes from is the way that we're thinking about it. So the first like mindset piece is that there's not a right decision. Notice decision is a dead end, no one decision, no one action is a dead end. It's like, our brains want us to think that, like, if we make the wrong decision, it's just going to be a dead end. And we're going to be permanently in this like, terrible reality forever. And it's just not true. Actually, making a decision opens up more information, more growth, more opportunities, more information, more options, more freedom, more possibility. And so what are you telling yourself will happen if you make the wrong decision, like with the, you know, owning this area of expertise, I was, you know, telling myself, well, if I make the wrong decision, then I'm going to want to change my mind. And then I'm going to go back on it, and then I'm going to confuse my audience, and then I'm never going to sell anything again. And it's like, hold up a minute, like, is that true? It's like, No, my business can go on, and make money either way. So like, it's literally fine. And it's like, what are you telling yourself is at stake? And is that true? Is it really at stake? Or is everything always available? Right, like, so you make a decision, it doesn't mean then what you want is permanently unavailable, like, it always is available, right? Like, there's always new options, always new decisions, always new paths that we can take. And, you know, what if? What if whatever you decide is the right decision? And like, what if, first, if it's like, what if there is no right decision? Or what if it's literally right? Because it is because that's the one you chose? So, a lot of times what I've noticed, what we do is that beat ourselves up. And second guess past decisions, like so hard that then we now don't want to make a decision, because we know that we're going to be the shit out of ourselves. Not necessarily physically, although, you know, you never know what people do. But you like beat yourself up so fucking hard. And second, guess it so much that like, you're like, Well, I'm not going to make a decision because like, then I'm gonna have to deal with myself beating myself up. And then guess what? This pattern continues and uses stay stuck. And this indecision. And something to get really honest with yourself about was like, how much of your day how much of your business? How much of your life? Are you spending, thinking about what you're going to do figuring out where you're going to do versus actually doing versus actually making the decision? And like, how much is this holding you back? So here's the thing, is by not making a decision to get to stay comfortable in our comfort zone, right? So what are you avoiding? What do you get off the hook for by not making a decision? So for me, when I'm in indecision, like, oftentimes, it's, it feels safer to just stay in mental thinking mode, then then I get to avoid taking courageous action and putting myself quote on the line. So when you're confused, and you haven't decided, and you're like, What should I do, I don't know what to do, then you don't have to do anything about it yet. And then you get to stay comfortable, then you don't actually have to show up and put yourself out there for a potential failure. So we get this idea in our head that it's better to do nothing than to make the wrong choice. And it's just not true. This is just the way our brains like to keep us in our comfort zone. So ask yourself like, what am I? What am I avoiding? What do I what am I afraid I'm gonna have to face if I make this? What am I gonna have to face? If I make this decision? What am I avoiding? That's on the other side of this decision? What do I get off the hook for by not making this decision and get really honest with yourself? And oftentimes, it's because there's courageous actions that you know, you want to take, and you're just like, oh, it's easier to be confused than to like, actually go for my dreams and go for it courageously, and put myself out there with the potential that I could fail. So

the there's two more mindset pieces. I want to share one piece of this is that, you know, we think we get this idea in our head that because we're confused and because we have all these emotions and fears and doubts and resistance and discomfort. That means like, we're not Oh, I shouldn't make a decision. Like, I can't decide from this frantic like resistant place like with All this delegate that we think that doubt means we're not capable of making a decision. And guess what? Again, it just is a sneaky way our brain likes to perpetuate this pattern. So if we by like waiting and waiting and waiting to make a decision and flip flopping and overthinking, and second guessing we literally feed this pattern of being indecisive. Like, it's like we're telling our brain Hi, please look for and find me more opportunities that I can overthink and overanalyze like, this is important, like, let me know if there's anything else you want me to overthink. And it's like, our like brain wants us to think that it's a problem that needs to be solved. But like the thinking and thinking and thinking doesn't get us anywhere. And it's like, we're trying to know what we don't know yet. We're trying to know what's going to happen in the future before the future comes. And we think if we just wait, we'll like somehow eventually become a Genie in a Bottle future teller, and be able to, like predict the outcome. And then once we can predict that the outcome is going to be perfectly successful, then we'll make a decision. It's like, literally not how it works. So it's like, what if we know enough now to make the decision? So it's like, can we make the best decision with what we know now? And then can we back ourselves on that decision? Can we have our back on that decision? Can you let it be? Okay? Like, we don't have to wait until we feel that the decision is 100%. Right? In order to make the decision, because a lot of times, that's just a perfectionist mindset, it's just keeping us stuck. And it's just holding us back. So it's like, can

we trust ourselves? Even when we have doubt, even when we have resistance, even when we are uncomfortable? And it feels like we don't know? Can we choose to trust ourselves? Anyways? And can we trust that? This is the last mindset piece that I wanted to share? Can we trust that every part of you is working for you, for you to survive and for your benefit? So can you trust that whatever you decide, whatever you create is going to be the best thing for you. And maybe it won't look exactly like what you thought it should, but it will be for you, because you decided for you and you are trustworthy. You know what you're doing? You did it for? Can you trust that, like all parts of you led you to make that decision for a reason for you? Okay, so on to the practical side of things, I think the mindsets so important, right, because that's where all of it is stemming from. And then, you know, these tips can help us kind of like, actively work like work through, it's like, okay, now I know, I know that there's no right decision. But it still feels like there really is right, so then that's where these practical pieces come in. So you can allow yourself to just make a decision anyway, and practice that skill. So the first thing is to, you can allow yourself to do a thought download. So basically, you can like grab a journal or grab your computer and just brain dump all of your thoughts. So they're out of your head, like I'm afraid if I make this decision, then this is gonna happen. If I make this one that's gonna happen, I want to do this one because of this, but I actually want to do that one. Because with that, and just like, allow yourself to like dump it all out, like let it out of your brain. And allow yourself to see clearly what is going on inside of your head. This isn't to analyze all of these thoughts, or to use these thoughts to figure out the best and right decision. It's just to allow yourself to have awareness over your thoughts and to get them out of your head. And onto this piece of paper, or the computer wherever. The second tip is to stop telling yourself the story. Like, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do, that is not helping you. So start telling yourself, it's safe to decide. I'm clear enough now. And I'm only getting more and more clear, it's safe to decide. Now I know enough to decide now, I'm capable of deciding now I can allow myself to decide now. I'm clear enough now and I'm getting more and more and more clear. Tell that story. Okay. The third thing is to ask yourself better questions. So a lot of times when we are in indecision, and we don't know what we should do, we start asking ourselves, what should I do? What should I do? That just creates so much more confusion and so much more overthinking? It's not a helpful question. So, some better questions you can ask yourself is, you know, if my intuition could talk, what would it tell me to do? If I knew I would succeed no matter what, what would I do? If I did know which decision I wanted to make? What would I do? Can I allow myself to make a decision and trust that decision? You can ask your inner voice and her voice What would you have me do? Or inner voice? What do you want me to know about this decision? And then and then breathe and listen inwards? If I couldn't let anyone else down? I couldn't let myself down. What would I do? If I could have it anywhere I wanted? What would I do? And again, these questions might just bring up more confusion. And that's okay, you can let that happen. So, you know, you can also think about, does this decision expand you and expand your future possibility? Or does this decision, like make you small or silence you or inhibit you? And like, what's really true for you, even though it might feel scary in the moment? So those are just some questions you can kind of like ask yourself, again, to get some awareness to see what's going on in your brain? It's not necessarily because you have to, after asking yourself this question, you should be able to make the decision now.

Because odds are, if you are stuck in a lot of confusion and doubt and overthinking, you are going to have to make the decision with that. If you wait for it to go away, you will be waiting forever. So you're gonna have to get uncomfortable. Uncomfortable, being uncomfortable, comfortable making a decision, even with all of the drama going on, telling you that it's really unsafe to make a decision, can you make one anyways. So these better questions, again, can just help you get more awareness. And something that you can do is if you want to, like put two pieces of paper or whatever, actually, however many decisions you have, if you have three options, or five options, or two options, put them on pieces of paper, put them in a bowl, shake at the bowl, and then pick one out. And you can if you there's kind of two ways you could do this. So one, you could if you really want to practice trusting decisions, and like really embodying that there's actually no right decision and having your back, decide before you pick the paper. Or you can flip a coin, right? So say before you pick the paper, flip the coin that you're going to go with whatever comes up. So that's one way to do it. The other way you could do it is that you can do that. And then kind of like see your gut reaction to like if the coin said one thing, but like, you're you have this immediate gut reaction, it's like, ooh, but I wanted the other thing, then it's like, you can use that as information, right? It just gives you a little bit more information and clarity. So you can kind of do it either way, again, just what's going to serve you what's going to allow you to make a decision and go for it. The fourth thing is to give yourself like, I don't want to say deadline, because I'm like, oh, that word sounds like not fun. Give yourself a the gift of a decision date, give yourself the gift of a decision date. So decide when you're going to, I'm going to make this decision by tomorrow or today or whatever it is right? Like, give it some constraint because otherwise, we'll often just allow ourselves to like run wild for hours and days and weeks, spinning out and overthinking NHS is not serving us. So give yourself a decision date, and allow yourself, it's literally you have to allow yourself to make a decision and commit to it for a certain amount of time. So oftentimes, we get afraid because we've like think this decision is like permanent, and we're going to have to do it forever and stick with it forever. So it can help if you're like I am going to make a decision by today, or tomorrow, or whatever you want to do. And I'm going to stick to it for three months, I'm not going to beat myself up, I'm not going to second guess or if I do, I'm just going to let it be what it is and continue on for my three month commitment anyways, and then I will allow myself to reassess, or six months or whatever, again, you get to decide what's best for you. So it's literally a gift to allow yourself to make a decision. So I actually used this process this morning to help myself make a decision. And I was just at the point where I had like, I gone through all this. I'm like, I literally can't, like I just can't I just cannot make this decision. I don't know what I want to do. I don't know what's right. I don't know what it's gonna work is this decision for my business? And I was like, Can I just allow myself to make a decision? Can I give myself the gift of making a decision? So I did the coin flip and I'm going with with the coin said, No, I'm just gonna fuckin do it. And I'm going to practice I'm going to practice that there is no right decision. It's not about what the coin said. It's literally about just pick and go. Guess what? I'm like, wow, I literally feel like a new person and so much lighter after allowing myself to make the decision. And it's not because I think I've made the right decision. I'm like, I don't know.

And that's okay. I'm allowing that to be okay. You don't have to wait until you are 100% sure that is the most perfect decision before you allow yourself to decide. So if allow yourself the gift because it is a gift. It feels so good and you've allowed yourself To decide and to just move on, and decide that you're no longer going to stay stuck from this overthinking and stuff. And it's such a gift because you actually like, move forward towards your goals and the things you want to achieve in your life and in your business a lot fuckin faster. When you're not spending your entire you know, all your time thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking and thinking and spinning out. So, after you've made the decision, if the doubt comes back, allow it feel the emotions in your body. Is it tightness in your chest? Where is it, feel it? Because, you know, this kind of happens a couple weeks ago, and I made this decision about this direction of expertise. I wanted to kind of hone in on in my business, I made this decision. I was like, Okay, I'm gonna stick to it for like three to six months. And then like three days later, I was like, I had this huge wave of like emotion and down. Oh, my God, I made the wrong decision. I should change it. Oh my god, what have I done? Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, should I change it? I can't go on until I figured this out. And adjust instead of reacting to that and jumping to change the decision or jumping to figure it out? Or jumping to get back into should I do this? Or should I do that, instead of doing that I just allowed it to all be there, I allowed myself to feel the emotions in my body without reacting to them. And I breathed into it. And eventually the charge the like emotional and energetic charge of the situation died down. It passed, it was like this emotional wave. And then it died down. And then I was able to come back to okay, like, I can trust my decision, I can have my back. And this doesn't mean never change the decision. It just means like, after you've made the decision, can you ride out those emotional like charges in waves of of like doubt and fear. And second guessing before reacting to it. And the way you may be whatever in the past, which would be to frantically like change it back or to frantically undesired and then go back into the indecision. So that you can avoid the discomfort of moving forward with your decision, which often requires courageous action and putting yourself out there. So I hope this helped you. It was so helpful for me to use this like process to work through some decisions. I've been making my business recently. And it's just yeah, again, such an amazing thing to practice and such a gift to yourself to practice doing this. And trust me, I get it. I know how it feels to be like but I literally can't. That's a lie, I guess you can. So if there's a big decision that you're you've been kind of flip flopping about in, in your business or or even in your life, like I would invite you to what if you allowed yourself to make that decision? Like right now? Or like very soon after listening to this podcast? What if you allowed yourself to make that decision? And what if you messaged me on Instagram right now. And you're like Madison, I listened to your podcast. Here's what I was indecisive about. This is a decision I'm making. And you declare, this is what I'm doing. I'm done thinking about this. I can reassess, I'm going to reassess after three months or six months or whatever it is like, I get to have my back on this. I get to love this decision. It is done. And this is an amazing decision. Can you allow yourself to do that? So DM me, I want to hear from you at Madison dot Arnhold. And I think that's just a really fun way to just like declare it to yourself and like put it out there and fucking own it. And allow yourself to go into the discomfort of the unknown of what's going to be on the other side of this decision. You don't know you can't predict the future and that is oh, okay, that doesn't mean don't decide. Okay. So yeah, let me know if this helped you. I would absolutely love if you would DM me. And if you have any friends or you think this would be helpful for your community, I would absolutely love if you screenshot it, tag me on instagram and share it and I so appreciate you for listening and I hope you have the most incredible day and I will talk to you soon.

Thank you so much for listening to the magnetical your podcast. If this episode served you I ask that you share it with someone who could make a difference for or share it on social media and tag me at magnetically you. Make sure to hit subscribe so you don't miss any of the magic. And it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review on iTunes. Thank you so so much from the bottom of my heart for being here. And I will see you in the next episode.

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